Hi, I'm new here. Trying to get clean but the harder I try, the worse the cravings get. Anything 12 step related makes me fiend like a demon. I get home from a meeting & feel like my chest is going to explode and implode at the same time.
So, I thought I would check out this forum to see if anyone else has been through this and how did you get through it? Does it ever get easier?
I am going to tell you what really helped me. I am a chronic relapser in fact I just came off from a relapse 15 days ago. Get into the meeting and when they say the floor is now open for discussion tell them that you feel like using dude. I had to do that, they sometimes invite the new comer to dinner and stuff like that. Or out for coffee. Just to get you over it. Get phone numbers and talk about that shit that is making you want to use. Make as many meetings as possible I hit 2 meetings a day now. Haven't had a desire to use at all. I have so much peace in my life. I got the pamphlet Living the Program and I answer these questions each and every day on a daily basis. I had a sponsor actively looking for a new one now, get a homegroup, get and use a basic text. This book is about addicts, written for addicts, working for addicts. If you never pick the dope up it can't get into your system. make 90 meetings in 90 days. But if i want some peace and calmness in my system guess what I do I make 2-3 meetings a day and allow the addicts to share while I shut up.
Talking about the obsession to use absolutely takes a LOT of the power out of it. Calling someone, sharing it in a meeting, all will help to interrupt the obsession. This disease likes to be kept in the dark. It withers in the light of exposure. When you share, it also gives another newcomer the courage to tell the truth about their thoughts of using.
Yes, early on, when I'd hear people share in meetings I'd often be triggered. Hell, the flick of a lighter was enough to trigger me. Just don't use no matter what, cravings go away, quicker when I talk about them, and you will put together another day clean!
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"The truth doesn't change based on my inability to stomach it". - Flannery O'Connor
regular and close identification with a group of recovering addicts is still the best ground for our recovery and growth... just wondering, how long have you been clean now I ask this because when I was just a few days clean, I was more or less always feeling that I'm gonna explode as well as implode, whether I go to a meeting or not... hear about addiction, using, drugs etc. or not...
Also "easy does it" for me. I do not have to try hard and harder... I had to let go at one point, struggling and forcing the program on myself never helped. I had to stop thinking that I had to do everything, all by myself, alone. I had to admit that I cannot do anything at all (First Step)... from that point onwards, it's the power of WE (meetings, other members, Sponsor, the Program, my Higher Power etc.) that carries me, doing what I need to, from within me, through me... I realized that I can only choose one of two - either control or surrender... control makes it difficult for me even today... Surrender is advantageous
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Tahir, since you asked how long I've been clean I will admit that I am in the middle of a relapse right now. Until yesterday though I had been good since New Year's. In my experience, it's not so much a function of being the first few days though (actually the first few days are relatively easy for me), but rather it starts as a mild craving & I try going to a meeting to see if that will help me cope. Unfortunately when I do this, I come home with a greater urge to use than before I left the house, which is the backstory behind the question.
Looks like the basic advice is to share more at meetings. I generally don't because I'm really ashamed of my use, but I'll try anything once.
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
I ask this because when I was just a few days clean, I was more or less always feeling that I'm gonna explode as well as implode, whether I go to a meeting or not... hear about addiction, using, drugs etc. or not...
