I have been clean since the 2nd of this month I guess I had one more party in me. I never thought I could hit rock bottom without a pipe in my hand then some one told me you can be way into recovery and still be spiritually bankrupt made sense to me I am going to meeting in my area I just got outta the nut house ;) my meds needed adjusted I have more hope than I have in a long time I had to fire my old shrink but I had to do what gives me hope. Sometimes doing the next right thing is not eays but here is the deal this is a simple program but no one said it would be easy! I have a sponsor here in my area whom I adore she and I have alot in common including the dual asspect of our disease. I feel good about this year and for once I feel like I belong somewhere. I have been in and out of A's 4 20 years and never felt a part of this time feels different, my level of openmindedness prolly has something to do with it But I am clean and Grateful for another day
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
Thanks, Manon. It's great to hear you're doing so much better. And I agree that you can be clean and still sick and suffering from addiction. The text talks about how the progression of the disease is ongoing, even during times of abstinence. It is only "arrested" through abstinence AND through working the twelve steps. I believe spiritual growth is what arrests the disease and "living" the steps facilitate spiritual growth. When our addiction is arrested then we are better able to work on treating our secondary illinesses. It is wonderful to "hear" the positivity (is that a word?) in your post. Hope is the beginning of everything pertaining to the recovery process, I believe. Can't wait to hear more of your progress. Stay at peace.
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"With a sweet tongue of kindness, you can drag an elephant by a hair." ~Persian Proverb
You know I relapsed back on the night before new year's eve. I have been at so much peace since that last relapse it just doesn't make sense at all. I read recovery and relapse right and I saw everything I wasn't doing to maintain my part of my recovery in my life at that time. Now I am doing what I need to do in my life. I am tearing the meeting down at the end. I am sitting in the front and making some days 2 meetings a day and other days 3 meetings in a day. I have someone that believes in me and keeps me accountable in my recovery and no it is not a female in the program it is one of these men that are in my homegroup him and I talk on a daily basis. You know I heard something in church today that hit me square in the head. I am going to share it here and then let it be:
Your identityis your most valuable possession you can have protect it with all you have! This meant to me that even though I am an addict I have to accept that yes I am an addict but I am also in recovery and I am a recovering addict. What is in a name.
The second thing I grabbed onto is this one: Doubt is a luxury we can't afford anymore in our lives. This means that once I accept that I am an addict I can't allow that doubt to come into my head anymore and let me realize that I have no reason to use cause I am highly allergic to the dope and the alcohol that is around me. I am thinking this is my surrender comes into the picture I am not sure but help me....
