I have been with this person for six years, most of it was spent smoking crack. I have been clean almost a year yet still live with this person due to fear and finances.
I came home yesterday to find him drunk for the third time, two detoxes just this month. I cannot do this anymore as I am not in love with him and there is no intimacy, we only live together. He does give me money when I fall short and my 4 cats are there which i love.
God placed an opportunity for me to move. I rented a room for $450 a month in NJ which is cheap! All utilities included. I'm scared to pieces. I cannot have my pets but have decided to sacrafice. I have never lived on my own.
Can anyone help me with some support? I'm scared. I know God has my back, but I am still scared.
this is a big step and probably the hardest one in your life but work the programpray and get to meetings and stay strong you can do it i had almost the same prob 20 yrs ago it took time to get my head right but i will never feel bad about what or how i did it your sobriety comes first and maybe you will get to the place where you can have your cats with you again i will pray for you and hope to see you in the room sometime
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some of us win some of us lose with god and this program i will be a winner
Hello, joy, and welcome. Glad you made it here. You didn't mention in your post anything about the program or meetings. Are you a member of NA? and if so, do you make face to face meetings? I ask because you are in need of the support of the Fellowship. We can not stay clean on our own, not very long anyway. Also, have you seen a therapist or counselor? Again, I ask because you mentioned you have stayed with your using mate for almost a year. Joy, I know it must have been hell. Please ask yourself WHY did you stay. Generally speaking, an emotionally healthy person is not going to stay in a relationship with a using addict. Many of us have additional problems besides addiction. Co-Dependency is a big one. That is why I asked about a therapist. If you're not sure then SEE ONE to find out what kind of additional help you might need. It is one of the most loving things one can do for themselves. Good Luck in your new place and please stay in touch. Big NA Hugs.
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"With a sweet tongue of kindness, you can drag an elephant by a hair." ~Persian Proverb
