I'm at my wits end. I'm sick of all the crazy bullshit my friend brings around and things he does because of his addiction.
Problem is if I tell him to leave and leave me alone. He still comes around and so the only solution is to call the cops. If I call the cops, he'll get popped instantly. And why should I be the bad guy especially when his whole family knows and they just ignore it....
Last year he did work furlough for 30 days for a charge and the very day after he got out, he went back out...Nothing will make him quit.
You just need to take care of yourself (and your kids) and do whats right for you and them, and not worry about what the consequences are for him. It just might be the bottom that he needs to convince him that it's time to look for a solution. More importantly, the relationship to this person, time, and proximity to you has taken it's toll and created issues for you that you need to address. If he goes away, you don't want to be attracting others like him. Welcome to the board.
Do not enable him if he's doing something against your will then he's doing it to himself and needs to pay consequences and those things he does that cause pain will bring him closer to recovery but you still need to protect yourself from him.
You've set them clearly. Asked for your friend not to come around. It is not your fault that your friend gets to experience the consequences of violating other people's boundaries. You have it backwards it seems. If he gets "popped" that is not your fault nor responsibility. I encourage you to call the cops. You've set boundaries now you have to stick to them.
It seems that my thoughts and belief systems tell me that maintaining my boundries makes me "the bad guy". That is part of the lie that I tell myself and it keeps me sick. It sets me up for failure because it only supports the idea that I am not worthy of respect from my peers. I have this self sabitage mode running the background of my thinking and it manifests itself in areas just like this.
This is just me Im talking about here, maybe some of you can relate
I have a progressive and incureable disease and my own brain is trying to kill me! LOL
Jay
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It sure is eazier to get through the moment than it is to get through the aftermath.
You may also want to try CODA. The forum there is very good. It is a 12 step for codependants, many of whom experience these very same issues regularly. forums.onlinecoda.net.
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even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you --Psalm 139
Welcome to the board.
