My homegroup. Best damn meeting in the Universe I must say...
Well, here's the dealio. My homegroup is a very small, intimate meeting. About a year ago a meeting in the neighboring town (yet different area) closed. It had three homegroup members...two with 17 years clean, and the third having around 5ish. The two 17 year people are a married couple. Love them dearly, have spent a lot of time with them at their house, at functions, whatnot. The husband joined our group a few months ago. Ever since then, the other homegroup members have wanted to bend over backwards for him, changing the set dates of group conscious so he could be there, wondering if he "knew" we had group conscious, voting to hold another group conscious so hopefully he could make it to the next one, putting off voting on trusted service positions 'til they thought he'd be there, then suggesting we adopt an absentee voting procedure so his vote could count when he never showed up. I understand the man works swing shifts, that's fine. But why all the hoopla?
Now here's the kicker: last week after the meeting his wife had come and was helping tear down and talking to another homegroup member. Next thing I know I'm being approached by these two inquiring as to the reasons "why" the meeting was set up on this day at this time. I explained to them the group's reasoning (I was able to help support the meeting and help be involved in the group counscious meetings held in order to start this meeting almost two years ago).
After I explained, the wife states, "I know I'm not a homegroup member, but if the meeting where another day of the week I'd join. This day is my day off and I'm around the house cleaning and I don't want to have to get cleaned up to come to a meeting in the middle of the day." - Not an exact quote there, but close.
The other homegroup member was all for the idea, oh let's talk about changing the day and time so she can be a part of our group...yada yada.
I'm floored at this point thinking WTF??? NA has NEVER changed it's meetings times, places, days, formats, policys, etc. for ME...I was told that I can not expect to get recovery if I tried to mold NA around my life; I had to mold my life around NA. Put my recovery first and everything else will fall naturally in order behind that.
Am I wrong here? I have big issues for changing the meeting's day or time so it can fit better into someone else's life...I say find another meeting that works for you!!
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"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~Oscar Wilde~
that's a tough one and I feel your pain. You being a member of our group, I easily side with you on this, but groups are autonomous and as such they are somewhat of a democracy. And with any democracy comes....you guessed it Politics. Well I've steered very clear of group politics and I don't think that I've ever been to a group conscious meeting. Let them know how you feel about it and if doesn't go your way accept it. It is what it is.
I have a club that I attend regularly for meetings. I guess that you could say it's my "home group" but they wouldn't recognize me that way. Anyhow, one of my pet peeves is a controlling chair person that hand picks people to share in the meetings. Also lately I've been to a couple meetings that had an incredible list of group conscious approved meeting requirements, that are read at the beginning of the meeting (no this, no that, no the other thing...on and on, like stfu already) and the last one that I went to (an AA meeting) read some go to hell statement from the 1940 Akron group called "The definition of an AA" that basically said if you're not 150% ready to quit for the rest of your life, leave now and don't waste our precious f'ing time" . <---paraphrasing here It was ridiculous, no preface, no afterword, no caveats nothing they just read it like it was some new approved literature. Sorry to ramble on about this but it really disturbed me enough to contact the Akron intergroup and the NY general services inquiring about the appropriateness of this practice. They said it probably wasn't a good idea for the newcomers to hear, and that it was taken out of context and obviously outdated but because the groups are "autonomous" they can pretty much do whatever they want. Hopefully this answers your question and sheds some light on my opinion of an overly active "group conscious"
Eek I have seen this sort of stuff in groups before I would just watch it carefully because these people who have been put up on a pedastal may be manipulating others with there egos.
Don't change anything to fit other indiviuals schedules, its that gals DAY OFF? LOL i'd laughed right in her face and said its your day off man what the hell you can't take an hour out of your DAY OFF to get to an important meeting then you don't belong in the group conscious, done.
A dope feinds a dope feind manipulating and self centered , even in recovery some people just dont change......
Thanks guys. After being approached by the other homegroup member last week and she asked what I thought, I told her nicely what I thought. But I did say I'd think about it (changing the day of the week of our meeting)...the more I think about it, the more ridiculous it seems to me.
More will be revealed...
__________________
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~Oscar Wilde~
It was ridiculous, no preface, no afterword, no caveats nothing they just read it like it was some new approved literature. Sorry to ramble on about this but it really disturbed me enough to contact the Akron intergroup and the NY general services inquiring about the appropriateness of this practice. They said it probably wasn't a good idea for the newcomers to hear, and that it was taken out of context and obviously outdated but because the groups are "autonomous" they can pretty much do whatever they want. Hopefully this answers your question and sheds some light on my opinion of an overly active "group conscious" 
