Do you have to give up all the friends you have used with in order to get clean? I have a small group that I think really care about me but that struggle with addiction as well. I am struggling with if I can want sobriety more than I want their companionship...
this is a major obstacle for many recovering addicts. It plagued me for 2 years. 2 years that I didn't get any more than 2 months clean. When times got tough (or I had something to celebrate) I'd call one of my friends and I'd use. I called it the "back door" of my recovery. I learned that I had to remove the back door and use the door to the rooms for my circle of friends. Our mind constantly looks for the normal. I think that it's a social survival skill that we all have. Come to school with the wrong jeans (or tennis shoes) or haircut and life is not good. So we do our best to "fit in", and to us that means using drugs with "our friends".
All most all of my friends today are in the program (NA or AA). What's cool about that is that not using is never an issue no matter what we do. If you're hanging around with addicts, then it's likely that you're not doing much except sitting around a house because addicts don't like to go out and do much. Just peaking out of the curtains is scary enough let alone leave the house lol.
lol. " just peeking out the curtains " how can you remember that dean ? im truly laughing out loud. its sometimes difficult to deal with this situation. lucky for me i didnt have to. when i first got clean i struggled with the same issue. i reached out to other addicts just like your doing now co. the advice i got was sobering . other addicts for the most part told me not to worry to much about it, if i didnt contact my using friends they would stop contacting me. that took a few weeks or months but it turned out to be true. first they called and i wouldnt party, the calls got less and less. every time they called i turned the subject to getting clean. then one day i just realized i hadnt heard from them in awhile. there were even rumors i had become a rat. oh well. im commited to staying clean thats all. friends with weed are friends indeed suddly meant nothing to me. friends with no weed are friends i need, became a new mantra. my life was confusing , out of control, and totally unmanagable. my old friends helped it stay that way.. i have new friends now. it does not mean i dont care for my old ones. if they want to get clean im completely on thier side. ill back that play 100 % . just like my new friends back up my desire to stay clean. i have friends now from coast to coast. and i know i can trust them thou ive never met them face to face . thats a great feeling . good luck
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" If you have built castles in the air , your work need not be lost ; that is where they should be . Now put the foundations under them . "
I had few true friends back then, one friend I have been able to help get clean he was there for me at my worst and what he saw in me he bacame himself.
So when he needed help he knew I was clean and he came to me asking HOW to get over this addiction and I gave him everything I had, and he is clean today I helped find him a job and he now has his family back and a home again.
Thats my purpose to help even just one person get there life back and especially to this one person who sat with me and talked with me while I was killing myself and who showed me true friendship of concern and love, I am able to give that back today.
Its best at first not to have temptations around us I also had someone tell me once that if I thought i could be around the drugs and even booze that I was basically saying I wasn't powerless, to some degree that may be true but we're not totally powerless for the rest of our lives, we eventually should simply be OVER IT and have no desire to use anymore, thats what I consider REAL RECOVERY.
