And this is why i read these or try to each day, I NEED to be reminded, I need a little shoulder shake once in awhile because i get complacent and lazy in my recovery, heres the thought for today ;
"If, after a period of time, we find ourselves in trouble with our recovery, we have probably stopped doing one or more of the things that helped us in the earlier stages of our recovery." Basic Text, page 92
Surrender is just for newcomers, right? Wrong!
After we've been around awhile, some of us succumb to a condition particular to old-timers. We think we know something about recovery, about God, about NA, about ourselves-and we do. The problem is, we think we know enough, and we think that merely knowing is enough. But it's what we learn and what we do after we think we know it all that really makes the difference.
Conceit and complacency can land us in deep trouble. When we find that "applying the principles" on our own power just isn't working, we can practice what worked for us in the beginning: surrender. When we find we are still powerless, our lives again unmanageable, we need to seek the care of a Power greater than ourselves. And when we discover that self-therapy isn't so therapeutic after all, we need to take advantage of "the therapeutic value of one addict helping another."
Just for today: I need guidance, support, and a Power beyond my own. I will go to a meeting, reach out to a newcomer, call my sponsor, pray to my Higher Power-I will do something that says, "I surrender." Page 211
It;s funny i just found the basic text online and that was onle of the first things i read. thanks for posting it and thanks you for all ur help and support
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These things I have spoken unto you, that ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer: I have overcome the world. John16:33
Thanks for posting that, V. Surrender is the foundation of my recovery and yet so easy to forget. I need constant reminders to surrender, accept my place in this world, and be humble. You provided today's reminder. I think if I follow the suggestions to attend a meeting, reach out to a newcomer, call my sponsor, etc., I will be fine.
Thanks, I do have a problem with surrender. Not so much with my higher power. I am a christan and I am in contact with God daily, but my trouble is surrendering to myself in that I can't do everything and can't be everything to everyone. I like to help and listen to others so much that I tend to over look myself. I plan to work on that part of my recovery and remember others, but put me higher on the list. Thanks for the message
well surrender is fine,, when ive done something wrong and am willing to change. But what about being accused of things I never did ?? Why do I crave to convince someone who doubts my integrity,,, thereby really shocking me and upsetting my Serenity ?? After many late nites I slept a litle early last nite,, now Im accused of infidelity. Im really having to let go of this situation wher im constantly being hurt by someone who I thought was special. She wil not see reason and will consider her feelings and thoughts as real. Im struggling and dont seem like i want to surrender,, at least not before I clear my name. This woman has a great knack of doing these things exactly when my life is shining,, im in Serenity,,Im having goodtimes in music,, im close to my NA Fellows,, and things that Im doing for my self and family are going my way.. She and I have been real close many months now on internet,, where Ive see her on skype and chatted her etc. Many phone claas have been the order of the day. Ive revealed all about myself and she about her and usually things will be going well when she will again suspect me of being unfaithful.. So now Im thinking she may not be patient for some more time for me to get there and meet her,,, or maybe she has found someone new. Well I dont own her,,, but I havent been able to let her go without her accepting shes making wrong moves. Our imminent meeting is surely round the corner,,,she has been eager to meet me for many months now and just as our dream seems like becoming reality there she goes... Im not able to let go with grace. I need to realise that if she wants to go she will,, no matter what I say can convince her to stay. But why cant she just say "look Raman,, its over. youre not my type"" or any such thing rather than use falsehood.. And there i was thinking I am helping her with self esteem,self acceptance etc. So this day i find im obssessing,,, I am trying to surrender,, and believe Higher Power Believes me !!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Raman; relationships are not fair sometimes. It sounds to me that you are the lucky one. You need to stay true to yourself. If she is coming up with false claims about you, don't let it bother you, (easy for me to say). You can't let that bring you down and possibly do something you'd regret. Nobody is worth that. If you've done nothing wrong tell her that, the rest is her problem. You can't convince someone if they have any doubts. My dad always said actions speak louder than words. I am learning that the hard way too. You sound like you have been a friend to her, now she has to make decisions for herself. Let go, Let God. Time heals. Good luck. Tip
Thanks Tip,, I like the suggestion and will use that idea entirely !! Ive already sent a mail saying Im innocent and have kept fidelity,, yes,,, like you say then its her choice. I also suspect she may have other motives or some dark secrets about herself she didnt want to reveal. thats her choice,,,, And yes,, Ive done my best for her and leave the rest to God,, my only hope is that she wont keep paining herself about how foolish she was trusting me a total stranger,,, I hope she realises that what she accused me of arent true at all and than she did the right thing in trusting me. She has however kept the friendship offer open,, God Bless her. But im stopping the get together / break up drama right now. Weve been thru these things already and Im done and finished. Like you say,, its her choice now to believe me or not. In fact I now even realize that even if she believes me but still wants to close the relationship thats ok,,,once again its her choice,, Im trying my utmost to Practice the Principle of Open Mindedness !! So help me God !!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Long distance relationships are very very difficult heck close ones are just as tough, different but tough.
Sounds like she really lacks trust thats a tough one Raman, hard to even imagine when long distance that the other person isn't doing something with someone else thats is lack of trust and fears.
my Girl does mancures and pedacures, women and men customers . She lives and hour away and sometimes I wonder if one of those male customers that she talks a lot with will find an attraction to her she is gorgious and easily likeable, sitting there rubbing there feet and hands she gives massages along with the nails ICK...it bugs me if I worry or obcess on it which I dont allow myself too, I trust instead and let the bad thoughts go.
I look at life this way Raman if its meant to be so be it I went threw what your going threw never wanted it again but I got what I got for a reason and i'm probably lucky to have who I have because i believe in her and she believes in me, heck i'm the bad boy in this relationship LOL nope I have never cheated in the year we have been together nor do i ever have it planned but if she does then I will walk away.
For me it was the selfish unmanagable nature I have, I expect the worse to happen never thinking of the good in things that occur, when i lost the relationship with a girl who was long distance for over 2 years I felt absolutely powerless thats a bad feeling and I tried so hard to change it I made it worse and worse every word and deed got uglier until there was no bridge to cross to repair even a friendship, I dont want that to happen ever again I felt like crap and not man enough to take the outcome I relapsed also so dont and i'm sure you wont let things go that far if it doesn't go as you would like Raman.
No Vin,,, thank God Im in touch with you all and getting your wonderful experiences,, I shared with my sponsor and the insights he gave have been miraclous,,strength to face reality,, and Ive been Meditating and Praying,,, being in touch with m7 Higher Power/God is full of hope,, the fear of fading away into oblivion came and went quickly,, leaving me to believe that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR THE GOOD !! I know that just for today I never have to use agian ,,,no matter what !! You know,,, pain shared is pain lessened.
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
and im also greatful to K. a recovering person who works as a chef where I played today. I shared feelings with him after wed both finished work for the nite,,,, and he some terrific insights to share !!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
its been hard today and is going to be tuff for few days playing tracks like "when you say nothing at all" especialy at the hotel. Thats been a favourite of mine to play and see some even shed a tear,,, this nite it was my turn to feel sadness and a few tears did come to my eyes. How many times ive sung that song to her on skype,,,especially the chorus= " the smile on your face lets me know that you need me, and the truth in your eyes says youll never leave me, the touch of your hand says youll catch me whenever i fall,,, you say it best,, when you say nothing at all"
I think playing "The way you look tonite" will make more sense now. Its always been a hit wherever Ive played it= " someday,, when im awfully low,, when the world is cold, I will feel a thrill just thinking of you, and the way you look tonite"
"Are you lonesome tonite" sounded true too,,, tonite !!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
sometimes in life and living and loving the NA Way,,, there are no pat answers. Instead of the black and white solutions and the instant fix mentality,,, i need to accept its basically grey area !! Scope for the Practice of Our Principles again !!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I now realize that when i stop surrendering i re-open the door and allowed the pain and misery to come back into my life...so now i find my self struggling to get a day clean.
