Hi I am new to this whole thing. Not to being an addict. I have had a problem for 25 yrs. My family just called me on 3 yrs. ago. I never in a millon yrs did I think that it would be this hard to get off them. I love pain pills. I have been to rehab 2 times. I get all the 12 steps ect, but I am human. My husband is one to believe that I can just stop & be better. I have just relapsed again and I am trying on my own. So far so good. The problem is my husband. Maybe I am wrong but, I feel like I need support, not feel like I am the lowest person on earth, he feels like tough love is the way to handle it, take something a way from me. I have read that I need to realize that, that is his problem. It sure makes it tough to live together. I have talked to 2 of my kids. they are behind my and just want me to try my hardest. My husband and my other son have the anger problem and hold it in. My husband wants my to talk about stuff that bothers me, then when I do he throws in my face. I can't win. I know I am the one with the problem, but if we want to stay together, he needs to work on some of his problems. I can't go on like this. He's telling my daughter to be mad at me and not take my side, why does there have to be sides? He never went to an alanon group, I bought him a alanon book, never even picked it up. Any help would be wonderful. Most of all thanks for reading. I look forward to reading all of your topics. It helps me to hear about all of you. Tip
Please keep sharing with us you sound a bit frustrated with everything not just your family I can relate to that feeling.
Look inside pray and meditate on a course of action in your life and find what will work in your recovery, turn your will and life over to a higher power and stop trying to make it work your way.
We are powerless over people turn them over to the power and know that what they do is out of love and concern for your life.
hey tip, aint it funny how we feel our situations are unique until we read or listen to someone else going through the same stuff. . as a user my wife constantly berated me for being to weak or stupid to quit using. in recovery she says im an arrogant ass and she wishes i would start getting high again because i was easier to live with..oh well so much for a peaceful non dramatic recovery. they say that part of what keeps us clean is giving of ourselves to others. and i know that to be true..but.......recovery can also be a very selfish system designed at getting my life together. i choose today to live and if the people around me respect that then we have no problems. i choose also to make choices that will not get in the way of my recovery, again if the people i love are cool with that ,then no problem.but often things arent cool and so it goes with addicts in relationships. it is a tightrope walk between sensitive to my partner and being true to myself. we butt heads and i think thats normal. i struggle to take care of me AND at the same time let my wife be who she is . after all my wife has never known me clean , frankly ive never known me clean. i dont know that this can help you in any way other than letting you know others are going through it to. best of luck to you . your marraige , your relationship with your children and most of all to your recovery. keep coming back..anthonyg ( addict at large )
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" If you have built castles in the air , your work need not be lost ; that is where they should be . Now put the foundations under them . "
All of what you said is sp true. when it comes down to it addicts all have the same thing in common. When it comes to recovery it can be selfish but all addicts deserve to be that kind of selfish. Its funny cuz if were were using the same people would say we are selfish any way so we might as well just aexcept it right? lol
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These things I have spoken unto you, that ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer: I have overcome the world. John16:33
Hi Amanda,, My name is Raman and I am an addict,, clean and serene just for today !! Well reading the above posts Im reminded that the therupatic value of one addict helping another is without parallel. We feel that our way is practical for one addict can best understand and help another addict !!! Thank God we have NA,, where addicts of all sorts can find recovery. And this smackie about two decades had given up all hope,,
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Welcome to MIP! I'm sorry about your situation with your husband. It sounds very difficult. Do you have a sponsor to talk to about it? You may be able to find one at your local NA meeting. Can you get to a local NA meeting?
Thanks for all your coments! I is nice to know there are others in the same situation. (althought I'd never wish this disease on my worst enemie). In the past few days my family and I have talked. I have come to realize that my recovery is totally up to me. Like you said it can be selfish. For me it has to be. The 2 times I went to rehab it wasn't for me, this time it is. My husband told me flat out he doesn't he shouldn't have to do anything to help because it isn't his problem, that is my sign I'm on my own and I need to do what I need to do. It actually feels good to know where I stand. It's my recovery with God's help. What more do I need. Tip
. as a user my wife constantly berated me for being to weak or stupid to quit using. in recovery she says im an arrogant ass and she wishes i would start getting high again because i was easier to live with..oh well so much for a peaceful non dramatic recovery. they say that part of what keeps us clean is giving of ourselves to others. and i know that to be true..but.......recovery can also be a very selfish system designed at getting my life together. i choose today to live and if the people around me respect that then we have no problems. i choose also to make choices that will not get in the way of my recovery, again if the people i love are cool with that ,then no problem.but often things arent cool and so it goes with addicts in relationships. it is a tightrope walk between sensitive to my partner and being true to myself. we butt heads and i think thats normal. i struggle to take care of me AND at the same time let my wife be who she is . after all my wife has never known me clean , frankly ive never known me clean. i dont know that this can help you in any way other than letting you know others are going through it to. best of luck to you . your marraige , your relationship with your children and most of all to your recovery. keep coming back..anthonyg ( addict at large )
