My boyfriend has been abusing pain killers. The things he has done while using are heartbreaking to me. I have kicked him out a few times, but always let himback in after he promises that the drug abuse is over. He just left for a detox/rehab today. Are there any groups that family or loved can go to?
if hes in detox there may be some kind of family or co-dependent counseling available as part of his treatment. you can call his treatment center and find out. if not the same treatment center should be able to steer you to alanon/narconon meetings close to you..good luck anthonyg
-- Edited by mrwinkie at 08:13, 2008-07-19
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" If you have built castles in the air , your work need not be lost ; that is where they should be . Now put the foundations under them . "
It might be a good time to send him packing for good or for a year, till he proves that he can stay clean and work a program. It's very difficult for addicts and alcoholics to get clean while they are in a relationship, which are almost always dysfunctional. I attended Codependents anonymous for 4 years consecutively while I was getting clean and sober. I changed the way I look, feel, and do relationships. I no longer look for people that I can take care of. The fact was that I was terrified of trying to date people that had a life, career, family life...(read didn't need me) so I chose sick people to be in relationships with while I played out a version of my parents horrible relationship. This is a bit off topic for this message board but then again you didn't indicate that you had a problem with drugs.
Hi MJRNYC,, I was thinking too if youre an addict yourself,,,
Dean.C wrote===
""""I changed the way I look, feel, and do relationships. I no longer look for people that I can take care of. The fact was that I was terrified of trying to date people that had a life, career, family life...(read didn't need me) so I chose sick people to be in relationships with while I played out a version of my parents horrible relationship. This is a bit off topic for this message board but then again you didn't indicate that you had a problem with drugs."""
Thanks Dean,,, very insightful.
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I do not use anything. I have a great career, make good money, great family and friends and have up until this relationship a pretty normal, happy life. He has no family that he can turn to (very dysfunctional) and if i put him out he will have no home, no job, no car. Yes, our relationship is dysfunctional because of his actions. I will be looking for a local program to attend to try to understand all this.
madam,, I applaud your efforts,,, its easy to wash ones hands off citing many reasons,, but you truly are a spiritual and caring person to pursue this course of action to help your man. I hope you will succeed,,not as in curing your boyfriend but in making a wholesome,detached effort without thinking of end results. In fact we learn this disease isnt caused by the outside,,it cannot be controlled or cured. What we do get is a daily reprieve,, Just for today when i an addict use the 12 Step Program in my life,,,I never have to use again,,no matter what !! Bless you maam, Bless you !
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
