With it being the 4th of July and all there is alot of people out still actively suffering and today is a very big "party" day. I received this letter at an NA meeting the day before I planned to kill myself. When this letter was handed out it hit home, the light bulb came on, whistles blew thee whole ten yards. So today I thought I would share with others the same letter that helped me. I hope it helps someone else struggling as I did.
A LETTER FROM YOUR DISEASE
Just in case you forgot me, I am your Disease. I hate meetings....I hate Higher Powers...I hate your program. To all who came in contact with me, I wish you suffering and I wish you death. Allow me to introduce myself. I am the disease of addiction. I am cunning, baffling and powerful. That's me. I have killed millions and I'm pleased.
I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, haven't I? Wasn't I there when you wanted to die; didn't you call on me? I was there. I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love to make you so numb you can niether hurt nor cry.
When you feel nothing at all, that's my true gratification. And all that I ask from you is long-term suffering.
I've been there for you always....when things were going right in your life you invited me. You said you didn't deserve these good things, and I was the only one who would agree with you.
Together we were able to destroy all the good things in your life. People don't take me seriously. They take strokes seriously, heart attacks, even diabetes they take seriously. FOOLS! Without help those things would not be possible.
I am such a hated disease and yet I do come invited.
You choose to have me.
So many have chosen me over reality and peace. More than you hate me. I hate all of you who have the Narcotics Anonymous Program, your meetings, your higher power.
All of these things weaken me, and I can't function in the manner I am accustomed to.
Now I must llie here quietly. You don't see me but I am growing bigger than ever.
When you only exist, I can live....when you live, I may only exist.
But I am here....
And until we meet again, if we meet again, I wish you suffering and death!
Sincerely,
YOUR DISEASE
Thanks once again for letting me share. I love this site!! It works if you work it!
I heard something in a movie awhile back, 2 guys sitting talking one of them mentions his girlfriend is a recovering addict, the other guys says " Oh you have a time bomb on your hands".
Made me think about how true that can or could be if a person didn't change anything in there life other then just putting a stop to there drug use. If nothing else changes then yes one might be a time bomb.
Work the program, practice the steps, practice spirituality principles, make changes on character and let go of selfish self will and accept a higher power in our lives doesn't leave much room for addiction...
Great post thanks. That's really about how it is. My disease is always waiting for me, pumping iron like a jailbird while I stay clean. I must get stronger also, but I can't do it alone.
Fab stuff lady !! Reminds me that recovery is a " Ghandian non-cooperation" sort of thing. I choose to practice non cooperation with the disease,,, just for today !!
__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
yeah,,, today we have a cjhoice and I choose to stay clean and recover,,,, the letter can actually serve as a checklist,, when i see those things in my behaviour today I easily understand what they mean when they ask me if my disease ran my life today and if so how ???
__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I was meant to see this on day 40. Still fighting for normalcy. Still frustrated, but still an ADDICT (who is 40 days from a relapse). So I am reminded, it lies is wait. I better go to meetings. It's never over. Thank you for turning on my light bulb. You have truly impacted another human soul and it made a difference. You should know that. Blessings on you.
