Today I believe I have been brought to every place thats good, you showed up here Humpage for a reason.
Today God brought me to a place that was so almost IDEAL where I want to live small apartment by a river I could actually find gold in, nice folks to rent from, rent cheap utilities in rent low deposit room for all my stuff to store, quiet peaceful they would allow me to have 2 pets but I have 4 had to choose, chose to not move in .
My higher showed me that today I have choices there will be others i'm sure maybe he was just showing me what could be.
Thought i'd share that, I feel unsettled inside very anxious and unsure I have to stop thinking and meditate on GOds will and what I just went threw, quiet the mind quiet the addiction thoughts let his will into my heart and soul and mind .
That wouldn't keep you from developing a "Higher power" of your own understanding. It's mostly about humility and learning that we're not the center of the universe. The main idea behind the fellowship is duplicating what's worked for others. It sounds like what you've been doing isn't working for you, so you might want to try a different path.
Also counseling takes it's toll, you have to be able to recharge your batteries and to a certain extent, not absorb the negative energy coming from those that you're helping. It might be time to do something different for awhile.
and in between, surrender your ego and self will in order to cultivate honesty, open mindedness, and willingness.
As for being an atheist, we have room for you. I don't believe in god either, but there are many powers that are greater than me - the weather, the doc when I'm sick, the lawyer when I'm in trouble, the people at meetings carrying a message of hope.
Just because you are atheist doesn't mean you can't be spirtual. This is a "Spirtual Program" not a religious one.
Just like the other have responded, let it be someone else will, not yours. I can speak from experience. My will got me no where but down and out. So now I'm doing someone else's will. And today, I'm doing good.
The creep from the deep sneaks back in occasionally. But today, I let it be momentarily. If I get lost in my own head, I will be lost forever! It's a very scarey place to go. So I try not to go there alone.
Get out of your own thoughts and your head. Be good to yourself! Get a sponspor or if you have numbers from people in the program use them. Please. This program doesn't ask nothing in return, only your happiness. Can your addiction truthfully say the same?
My Meth addiction only wanted misery and death for me. My program wants me alive and happy. That's what I want for you too. We will love you until you are ready or able to love yourself.
Keep coming back hun, it really works and I have only 115 days clean time. But I have faith that someone else's will was greater than mine.
ahem,,,,hmmmmmm,,,, duh-uh,,,,excuse me,,,etc. telling an atheist of things like "Higher Power" and "Spiritual Program" is a sure turn off. I have a lot of atheist recovering friends and enjoy debate with them !! In fact theres a site for Godpeople and Atheists to share recovery in without getting entangled in each others beliefs !! And in those times I gather that Rationality and Principles Of Recovery are what an Atheist will choose. Best of Luck Paul,,,Ive learnt in my years here that NA will work for any kind of recoverig addict,,,,thats the Promise !!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Maybe you still have some using to do. I am not being sarcastic. When i got clean I took whatever they told me would make me stop drugs and be happy. If they had told me that I had to have a higher power than I had a higher power. I did what all that was suggested to do, period.I was too bankrupt in every way to argue. I did not want to die. If you still have some resistance in you. Go use. Maybe then, if you're lucky and you survive (no guarantees) then you can raise that white flag high and mighty.If you honestly have had enough then don't think or talk too much. Us addicts tend to be over philosophical. make believe you have a higher power or die my friend. I wish you well.
The program tells us "God as we understood him." It doesn't have to be like anyone else's.
This can be a source of much confusion in the program. As addicts humans, we may inadvertently try to push our God & our beliefs about Him onto other addicts. An addict might tell another addict to get down on their knees to pray to God, without even knowing if that is the God of that person's understanding. The important thing to remember is that this step means a God of your understanding. It could be the God of your childhood, the power of the Program, a force of nature, some kind of intelligence or even a rock in your backyard. It is a Higher Power, of your belief, that you can have faith in. You relate & communicate with your Higher Power according to the way you understand Him/Her/It. Your concept of a Higher Power may change as you grow in your recovery & that is OK... because it's your Higher Power.
When we first came into the program of Narcotics Anonymous, we were physically, mentally, and spiritually bankrupt. The first step restored us physically, the second step restored us mentally & the third step restored us spiritually. We must maintain vigilance over these three aspects of our disease. If we fail to do so, the first to go will be the spiritual, then the mental/emotional & finally, the physical, the act of picking up again. That is why it is so important to live these steps in our lives, it is the maintenance of our program. If you have no Higher Power, try G.O.D., Good Orderly Direction.
Maybe you still have some using to do. I am not being sarcastic. When i got clean I took whatever they told me would make me stop drugs and be happy. If they had told me that I had to have a higher power than I had a higher power. I did what all that was suggested to do, period.I was too bankrupt in every way to argue. I did not want to die. If you still have some resistance in you. Go use. Maybe then, if you're lucky and you survive (no guarantees) then you can raise that white flag high and mighty.If you honestly have had enough then don't think or talk too much. Us addicts tend to be over philosophical. make believe you have a higher power or die my friend. I wish you well.
While those are strong words, and I'd hate to see someone go out and not come back, what 2ala2 posted I have to basically agree with. This disease kills people, and millions who have passed this way got clean and lived by working the program. I didn't decide to drop in here after winning the lotery, to get some tips on how to go back to being a social addict, I came here to save my ass. Although I was stuck in the revolving door for 2 years because I still thought I had most of the answers. Somehow I survived, but not before losing a lot and gaining the gifts of desparation and willingness. I hope you'll find them also.
Humpage,, I completely disagree with the tone and tenor of some posts here that I consider very unethical in terms of espousing the usage of drugs again. We in Na have been informed an addict,, no matter what sort,, never has to use again ever,, just for today !! Tho I come form a storng belief in God and all,,I will not berate you or condemn you just because you dont believe as i do. Moreover as I understand what one member shared isnt the" official viewpoint" here at MIP. Ive been a member here long enough to know that. I suggest that you use Principles like Goodness, Kindness,Abstinence and Serenity as your Guides,,, just for today !! Hugs and keep coming back . And yes if you want I can also type out recovery sites for Rationalists and Atheists.
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Total surrender isn't an easy thing for anyone no matter how far down your lifes gone , most hang on tooth and nail trying to make it work.
Not only that but its the nature of addiction , if it had a life it would be a killer going around and murdering every human it could sink its teeth into.
Its nature is to DESTROY pilage, plunder and take no survivors.
We are not to be intolerant of where others are at this whole dang things about us loving each other unconditionally, were all here for the same reasons. Tough love is often used from some I have gotten a lot of that but i was one obstinant customer I have Raman beat in the years that I struggled with a program , like about by 18 years LOL.
But I always got love no matter how tough noone wanted me to go back out using noone wanted to see me dead ( well maybe a few but they werent in the program ) everyone want me to get well.
So i wont criticie anyone else here for there views that would make me intolerant of them and that aint spiritual, AM I LEARNING ANYTHING HERE YET ? LOLOLOLOL
You hang in the humpage and take what your ready for JUST STAY CLEAN FOR TODAY one day at a time and Keppe coming back.
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