This is the beginning of a string I like to call, "What I Learned in Kindergarten"

Hello Fellow Addicts,

I have been in treatment now for exactly a week!  I have attended more NA meetings than I can count and have found countless friends!  I'm exhausted.

Out of everything I have learned, the most important has been to serender all to my Higher Power.  Every morning, I begin my day with the following mantra:

"Good Morning!!! The sky is blue; the birds are singing; and the clouds are pink!"

Besides making someone else smile, this serves the purpose of reminding me that; although, things might seem great today (this moment, this day) I am still an addict and the scene can change quickly.  I need to remember this.

The last time I tried recovery, I relapsed in a matter of weeks.  I remember attending my first NA meeting only with the desire for the withdrawal symptoms to end.  I would ask other members how long they were sick, and how long I would be.  Of course, it wasn't long before the illness went away; and like in childbirth, the pain was forgotten.  I had arrived on my pink cloud.  I was happy.  I was "clean"; or was I?  I now know that clean time does not necessarily equate to being clean.

Today, I know I have a disease that requires constant attention to avoid relapse.  I have a sponsor, attend meetings, and work the steps to the best of my ability.  But, most importantly, I am learning to be honest with myself and others.  I am currently working the first step.  I know for a fact that my life had become unmanagible.  And, today, I know it can return to that state in only an instant.  I can not allow myself to enjoy the fantasy my disease creates.

Addiction is cunning and baffling and will allow my to believe I am all powerful.  I'm not.  It will destroy me if left untreated.

Lisa