im anthony , im an addict. last night i asked for some input on weather i should attend a meeting dead up in the womb of the majority of my closest cities drug trade.i got some good advice and input . tks to those of you that gave it.Being the adventurous type. and full of risk taking bravado.i ignored it and hit the road.as i approached " the road " i heard my first whistle.which of course is code for , are you looking to score. i remembered the advice i got last night. i rolled my window up. turned the music up louder and punched it. the site of my destination was an outreach mission . due to many forays into this area in the past i knew exactly where i was going. first thing i noticed was mine was the nicest car in the lot..clue number one..next i noticed several bicycles leaned against the entry none of them looking ridable..and a shopping cart full of rags and cans..but feeling confident and sporting a brand new shiney 7 days clean.i marched in. my first reaction upon seeing my fellow addicts was..ohhh S**T i have screwed up. there was only one other addict of non-color there besides me.and he looked as though he had been homeless for 99 years or so,i learned later it was his shopping cart and that cart contained everything in the world he owned.it seemed to me the room froze when i walked in.i looked around and in my coolest most hip voice i asked .........NA ? there were several giggles and three folks stood up to welcome me home.i was hugged i was accepted.i was forgiven. it was a great meeting on the first step.full of what i needed to hear. i am so greatful today.as i drove home happy to be in a car.stoked to have clean clothes.greatful to have had the experiance. today i am so proud to be a recovering addict. thank all of you for being here.and tks hp.for showing me a better way today.
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" If you have built castles in the air , your work need not be lost ; that is where they should be . Now put the foundations under them . "
Thats a damn good day Anthony glad you got to experience that and get threw a few things there.
I have had to work in neighborhoods I used to score in, I keep my head down I dont look anyone in the eye keep my windows up and music up like you and its like they dont see me. I have had to get to my truck and drive away for a bit when the compulsion to use hit me once I watched a deal go down and it just hit me hard so I left till I got my head on straight, went back and finished my work.
I went to a meeting in San Francisco once with my sister and I saw an assortment of people it was like a fruit cake in that place and when we left the dealers were literally standing by the door no kidding, stange place !!
I like how you write your good at describing things I could see it perfectly in my mind eye what you went threw hang in there brother you have a lot worth saving from disaster.
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
