The rewards from detachment are great: serenity; a deep sense of peace; the ability to give and receive love ion self-enhancing, energizing ways; and the freedom to find real solutions to our problems.
Letting go of our need to control can set us and others free. It can set our Higher Power free to send the best to us.
If we weren't trying to control someone or something, what would we be doing differently? What would we do that we're not letting ourselves do now? Where would we go? What would we say? What decisions would we make? What would we ask for? What boundaries would be set? When would we say no or yes?
If we weren't trying to control whether a person liked us or his or her reaction to us, what would we do differently? If we weren't trying to control the course of a relationship, what would we do differently? If we weren't trying to control another person's behavior, how would we think, feel, speak, and behave differently than we do now?
What haven't we been letting ourselves do while hoping that self-denial would influence a particular situation or person? Are there some things we've been doing that we'd stop? How would we treat ourselves differently? Would we let ourselves enjoy life more and feel better right now? Would we stop feeling so bad? Would we treat ourselves better?
If we weren't trying to control, what would we do differently? Make a list, then do it.
Today, I will ask myself what I would be doing differently if I weren't trying to control. When I hear the answer, I will do it. God, help me let go of my need to control. Help me set myself and others free.
(Received this awesome reflection this morning from another friend of the fellowship. Passing it on in the hope that it might also help others as it helped me)
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Thanks for the post, it is really awesome! Glad that you sent me an e-mail. I was tied up with all the unimportant things going on daily, like work, work and work. It was a good reminder and a message that I really needed. Thank you friend.
kenh
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God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.
Sometimes this is a hard lesson learned, it's something that I found out about myself that I tried desperately to control others and I ended up losing my sobriety and clean time ( over 5 years clean ) over this single issue.
The inventory I made was WHY I want control all the time and is it really better if things always go my way?
I think I will have to try out that suggestion Wendy... lol...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
If addiction is about control, recovery is about letting go. If addiction is about denial, recovery is about accepting what is.
As we spend time in the program, we learn something unexpected and amazing; Life is so full of twists and turns; it's easier to follow along than to try to straighten them out. It's easier to have fewer expectations because, after all, we have no control over the future or the present.
Can I practice letting go?
Higher Power, help me to be open, flexible, and accepting in my recovery.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
I wonder why it's so appealing for an addict to always try to live in the problem itself, with the problem I tend to do that all the time until I'm completely beaten and desperate enough to surrender... Maybe that's why admitting my powerlessness and unmanageability is the First Step in NA.
I can surrender from the very beginning if I choose to apply my first step. Today I realize that doing so relieves me and gives me a permission to not having to go through a lot of struggle and misery before I turn to the first step
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
