I am out of town on business. Somehow, I thought dranking sounded like a good idea last night. Almost a year and half down the tubes. It was not worth it.Today is my new clean day. 90 in 90 as soon as I get back in town.
Glad to hear your not going to stay out and keep using Jason brush yourself off and take a good hard look at what happened.
Read pages 74-83 on Recovery and relapse, the one thing I like in that is on page 74 it says " relapse may be a jarring experience that brings about a more rigorous application of the program " also keep in mind we didn't use drugs they used us......
Prayin for you Brother keep in touch with us more closely now.
Ah Jason. That's quite a loss. It proves once again how powerful and insidious the disease of addiction is that it can wipe away nearly 18 months with what appears to be a good idea. Welp, like V said, brush yourself off - your pride, ego, embarrassment, whatever - and get right back into recovery.
i wouldn't say it was a year and a half down the tube, i mean, you still have all that recovery experience.. ive been too ashamed to go pick up a white keytag since my relapse 9 days ago.. i was going to wait till i had 30 days before i get a tag and tell people at the meetings i go to.. but if you are going to get your white tag.. ill go get mine
I am looking forward to it. I went to meetings regularly but I pushed people away until I had "trained" people to leave me alone. I am going to try not to do that this time. For me social anxiety is a double whammy though.
I would be open to online sponsorship. Let me know if you have worked all the steps with a sponsor and would be willing.
Also let me know if this sounds like self deception trying to keep me in isolation.
you can start a new day, a new life, RIGHT NOW. Get to a meeting. Find yourself a sponsor. Make some calls. Read some lit. Stay away from people, places, and things. Just say no.
Scott wrote:i wouldn't say it was a year and a half down the tube, i mean, you still have all that recovery experience..
Well put Scott, no way do we lose out on the recovery we had before our relapse. After my last relapse, the very fact that I had experienced the benefits of recovery and staying clean before for 7 months gave me the hope that I could with the help of the program and others in NA. I just needed to do what I did before and also those things that I was not doing before.
It's ok that I relapsed, as an addict, that's very natural for me to stumble and fall in my recovery at times. The pain for me is when I don't get up and start finding my feet again. I can walk with others in NA again, because all of you understand and have been there where I am at.
Glad you're reaching out and sharing so honestly about your relapse, Jason. If you had the strength to do that, then you surely have the strength you need to get back to recovery again.
I'd suggest you pick a Sponsor as soon as you could, and if you're comfortable only with an online sponsor at this moment, so be it. Check out the eSponsors who are ready to help others online in working the program at www.earthgroupna.org
I found my Sponsor there almost 3 and a half years back, and it sure works for me. There are wonderful, caring and compassionate souls who are well-experienced in online sponsoring there. I'm sure you will find that person who can help you overcome your setback.
You are a miracle, Jason, and you're too precious a being to be missed here by all of us. Love you and need you, WE CAN!
((((((((((BIG NA HUGS & FELLOWSHIP LOVE))))))))))
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
I agree with Scott, it is not a year down the tubes. You have so much experience in the program that you know exactly what you need to do. Now all you have to do is do it. If you didn't have that year in the program you may not have just drank for that one night. You would probably still be out there. Thank your Higher Power that you had that year and that you have somewhere to go when you get home. And that you know where you have to go when you get home. Without that year who knows how you would've handled it. Don't look back and beat yourself up about it. I am recently coming back from a relapse and I still beat myself up on a daily basis. I now know that I have to stop looking back because I cannot change what I have done. I can only make good thnigs come from it. And I now know what to look for in the future when relapse is coming my way. Way to go with recognizing what you did and being honest about it.
I now know that I have to stop looking back because I cannot change what I have done. I can only make good thnigs come from it.
That's a great insight, thanks for sharing it...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
