of course all the fellers were drinkin but at least not like I used to it was like so controlled HAH one guy asked me if I was drinking and told him nope its been awhile he said he'd been slowing down but his bloated face tells another story.
My girls in Las Vegas having a great time I called to see how she was she couldn't talk and she was loaded too.
I sorta felt like the outcast afterwards but you know I would have been an absolute idiot at the party and I always drank to much to fast ended up throwing my guts up, fighting with someone etc, I can't even figure out why those guys eat before they start pounding down booze I never ate first and filled up with booze.
So I'm home I wont wake up with a hangoveror broke cause I went and spent all my money on crack and i'll get up in the morning and head for the mountians to find gold and enjoy the serenity of the mountains and recovery which is really what I love today.
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Good for you, V. I had exposure to a couple of drunk people recently and they were nothing more than smelly and stupid. I'm glad you didn't become one of them.
I too was tested this weekend. Went to a Ducks Unlimited "memorial" dinner Friday night, where alot of drinking was occuring. some of the guys were going overboard, how many I don't have a clue. The desire to drink has slipped away for me, but when someone said he wanted a refill of Kettle One, I did flash that that was what I'd be ordering, if I still drank. Even if I could drink in moderation, why bother??
For me, saying I was powerless, and my life was unmanageble, were two extremely hard addmissions for me to take. Now that I have why go back? I'm moving forward and discovering a new me?
Thanks Guys something I have been thinking on today and that is DIGNITY, those girls have none and the guys drinking and doing some of the stuff that was going on lost theres that night, all I could think about was how would my girlfriend FEEL about me doing those things and how thoughtless it would be for me to become involved and what about my own personal dignity ? my own moral values and ethics. If I was drinking and using I honestly wouldn't have much if any of those quality's and good character and that is what recovery and NA has shown me I can have and do have now and thats what matters.
Good on you Dave, the desire has also left me and it took just what you mentioned admitting defeat.
One guy did ask me if I was drinking and I told him Nope I had my share it got a little deeper and when I told him I had to quit to save my life he understood and respected that decision, we also had a long talk about god prospecting he may be wanting to go along and see what this is all about especially now that gold is over $1,000 and ounce :)
