"The Eighth Step offers a big change from a life dominated by guilt and remorse."
Basic Text, p. 38
Remorse was one of the feelings that kept us using. We had stumbled our way through active addiction, leaving a trail of heartbreak and devastation too painful to consider. Our remorse was often intensified by our perception that we couldn't do anything about the damage we had caused; there was no way to make it right.
We remove some of the power of remorse when we face it squarely. We begin the Eighth Step by actually making a list of all the people we have harmed. We own our part in our painful past.
But the Eighth Step does not ask us to make right all of our mistakes, merely to become willing to make amends to all those people. As we become willing to clean up the damage we've caused, we acknowledge our readiness to change. We affirm the healing process of recovery.
Remorse is no longer an instrument we use to torture ourselves. Remorse has become a tool we can use to achieve self-forgiveness.
Just for today: I will use any feelings of remorse I may have as a stepping-stone to healing through the Twelve Steps.
YES for sure and remorse can also end up being an excuse to use again so we must clean up the wreckage of the past in many forms, it's definetly a stepping stone forward Thanks Ken
I have been getting that darn wanting to relapse feeling again. I know that there should be some hidden problem that I am not seeing. I will have a good opportunity to relapse next week. I have been thinking about it and I know this is dangerous.
When I look back on other relapses all of them were premeditated even though I told myself it just snuck up and happened. I am in a place where there are meetings, so when my wife goes to visit my daughter I will be making every meeting. I also told my wife that I was thinking about relapsing, the look she gave me was enough that I am not using for this 24 hours.
So I am telling you guys that I am thinking about relapsing and I will take any advice to stop myself from relapsing.
I am just over 4 months since the last relapse.
kenh
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God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.
I have to agree with what the literature says, we use because of how we feel.
Check out everything Ken, do a major inventory on your life, who, what, where, when, why, how ask all the questions theres something inside unsettling other then just wanting to get high.
This too shall pass if you can't figure it out it will pass, its our nature to get high try something different do what you've been doing and just stay clean it takes awhile to adjust our thinking to a new way, eventually getting high isn't the only option or even an option. Hell I have thought about suicide before thinking about getting high which is pretty damn bad too and I haven't thought that in quite some time but that was an option too, or murder LOL, getting someone out of my way thats making me (yeah right they make me ) feel a certain way thats uncomfortable.
You know personally I'm just a big baby want everything easy, want everything nice and peaceful but I can end up being a hurricane trying to get what I want the wreckage is mostly to myself.
Love yourself brother that means taking care of yourself just like you'd take care of a child or your wife, fight to the death right? well this can be the same but your saving your own damn skin.
You hang in there you need to ever talk I'll be glad to call or vise versa.
Thanks Vinnie, I might take you up on the phone call some time. I am okay right now. I appreciate the good advice. I know something is not right with me and I am going to try and work on it over the week end instead of working on how I can hide it by finding some shit.
Thanks again
kenh
__________________
God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.