Best wishes to all of my friends at NA!! I am praying 2008 will be the start of another clean year for us all!!
I've had a difficult last 4-5 weeks, had a breakdown of sorts and spent some time in a hospital, but I am better now, just kind of shaky. I have 86 clean days today, no Vicodin, no oxycontin or alcohol, although I've had a couple of near collisions!! (think I have too many i's in that word!!) A few weeks back, I was digging in a high up cabinet, looking for some small stocking stuffers i'd gotten for our son. My hand closed around a familiar shape and when I pulled it out, it was a Vicodin bottle with 8 pills in it!! I stood there for a full minute, my drug use started due to surgeries and a chronic pain problem...I was so tempted!! My pain has been so much worse lately....well, I called my daughter, who knows my whole sad story, as due her older brothers, and she took the bottle to my husband, who promptly sent it into the sewers of Bloomington, Minnesota....it was so close....
Then, the last weekend with Christmas parties and the in-laws over, etc., they all had wine with supper and brandy before, not that they are huge drinkers, really the very opposite, but the brandy bottle was sitting right on the kitchen counter, it was very rough for me until I asked my husband to move it! non-addicts just never think about those things...my husband feels like, "well, you aren't having withdrawal anymore, things are okay," when he doeesn't know that i think of it all everyday....and with the stress of anxiety of Christmas, it was so much harder....
I haven't been to NA in 6 weeks, but I am starting back this next Tuesday. my family and i are going on a little 4-day trip tommorow, I hope I can relax some...
God bless you all!! Physically, I am feeling better everyday....
yea Joanna,, you give me hope and thats what im living on most of the time these days= here i am quite successful materially,my family an dfriends scaes are good,, im quite well in with the Fellowship,, but whats missing ?? like you shared a hope for the New Year,,I hope so too,, to stay clean another year,, another great hope is to unite with me beloved,, we date on internet,, great,,but im still eager for March when shes coming here,, so again,, I live in hope !! O God our help in ages past our hope for years to come,, just for today, my thoughts will be on my recovery,living and enjoying life without the use of drugs !!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Right On Joanna and congratulations getting threw each little test of fate, you are making a strong stand for what you really want and that is to be clean and this is what it takes to have that.
good for you for resisting temptation!!! THAT is what gives us strength!
i see you are coming up to your 90 days... congrats on 86!! each day we stay clean we are a miracle, you are a miracle!!
my first 90 days i did over double that in meetings, i wouldn't do it differently today, we get our experience, strength and hope from others in recovery, glad to hear your going back, then go to even more meetings!!!
Congratulations Joana on 86 days of miracles! Way to go!
Glad that you're gonna get back to NA from this Tuesday, have a great trip with your family, NA Hugs.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
