I also used anger a lot as a newcomer in NA, still do at times After my last relapse, I picked up a Sponsor and started working the Steps. When I thus based my recovery through making regular meetings, talking with my Sponsor and trying to work the Steps in those situations instead of acting out in my old ways, I experienced progress.

Anger, for me, is a natural ingredient of a human being. I have come to know that me being an addict tend to abuse the emotion of anger that makes my life unmanageable. What is a normal human trait becomes a defect of character for an addict like me

My first Sponsor told me once that one feels anger because anger shows up for a very important reason, that it's telling us something that we need to pick up, and only the process of the Steps reveals to me why I'm not able to deal with my anger in a constructive way, why do I try to deny myself that I'm angry, why I tend to fall into my addictive tendency of telling myself that I must not get angry, that anger is a 'bad' thing, I'm supposed to suppress my anger etc. I realized while working my 4th and 5th, and when I was introduced to the basics of Step Six by my first Sponsor that I can learn to deal with my anger, become willing to my Higher Power's help in transforming it only after I acknowledge the fact that I'm angry, that there's nothing wrong with feeling angry, that what goes wrong is only when I act out in my addictive ways to this anger that I feel. I have to own my anger first to be able to do anything with it, that I cannot change what I deny or don't own up.

Also, I have come to know that suppressing my anger is the most destructive of all, more than acting out sometimes

When I make regular meetings, pray and meditate on the JFT of the day everyday, base my day in the principles of the Steps, stay connected to other members on a daily basis etc, I've found that anger doesn't hold that much of a power over me. And when I'm disconnected with these basics of the program, anger wreaks havoc in my recovery. When I do the basics right, my emotions more or less settle down in their proper perspectives, there's less chance of exaggeration or blowing them out of proportion.

The defects show up for a reason, they are there still for a reason. For me, it's my Higher Power telling me "Here's a great gift that I have for you beneath this defect of yours, open your mind, learn and grow" when I end up acting out everytime. Growth is where my defects are. That's a paradox that only the Steps can reveal to me