I am a newcommer with two weeks clean. I am currently in a relationship with someone who does not (or never has) use. We've been together almost 2 years and probably have argued half of that time about bs. I'm at the point where its getting to me and I am ready to tell her to just leave, I mean if she's really all that miserable being with me, then why stick around?
I know I probably dont sound very rational or I may just be venting but I needed to get it off my chest in hopes that someone could shed some light on my situatio because I really seems dark right now.
Welcome to the MIP group. Thanks for the share/vent. You are clean and have a desire to stay clean, that is what matters in this group. You will find some light here. Keep coming back.
recovering kenh
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God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.
Welcome to Miracles In Progress Group, Something New!
Keep coming back, It Works!
Congrats on Two Weeks Clean, keep the miracle alive
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Something new. How goes it? I'm going to make some assumptions here. The fact that you're two weeks clean says that you want to start a new life, you want to be clean. We addicts never really fall out of love with our drug of choice. While I drank, took benzos and smoked dope occassionally. I mostly drank. Morning, noon and night. You could not separate me from my alcohol. My favorite drink was always the next one. So you have this lady love who has put up with you and your drugging for two years? huh? Well she must love you a great deal. And pardon me, I mean no offense, it's just that I'm a fairly direct person. You want to tell her to bounce because, what? She's sick and tired of being sick and tired? But you're telling us you're two weeks clean? So what is she complaining about. Because surely now you're making an effort. So her complaints can't be about the drugging anymore, because you're not getting high,fucked,wasted or tanked every night . So either you're not in love with her or there's still some recreation use going on that you're not telling us about? So be fair and tell her it's over and Hasta la vista. Or work it out.
As an addict you put her through a lot of shit and you know it. But now if your serious about recovery you have a chance to work it. Recovery though doesn't take any prisoners. You have to put it first. You make it and yourself, the number one priority. I don't mean to sound like a bitch or be harsh, but that's the way it goes. I'm also sounding like this because I also have a bit of a romantic dilema; and I'm just envying you the fact that you have someone whose obviously in your corner and maybe, you're overlooking that. Whichever way "Something New" I wish you all the best. Keep coming back.
So I'm going to give you what we call an objective for the week. It is:- "Just for today I will trust in the process and make recovery my number one priority".
I wish you all the best in your recovery and with your relationship. Chedza is offering a very healthy suggestion: Focus on recovery first. The rest will fall in to place.
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
In response to your question Chedza "But you're telling us you're two weeks clean? So what is she complaining about" This is the LATEST issue, because its always something with her:
While I was using she found some messages that were sent between me and another woman. Mind you, I could never find the time to stay clean long enough to ever go meet her. So for me it was mostly talk.
Anyway, now that she found the messages its like I cant get a phone call or text message without her thinking its the girl. The girl and I don't even talk anymore but my girlfriend is still riding me about it.
So if its not the above mentioned issue then its something else. It seems like she always has to find something to ride me about.
Babe, the path of true love never runs smooth. But I'm not here to give you romantic advice. Just Keep staying clean. Use this forum to help you stay clean. As Tahir says Are you attending any face to face meetings? Working the steps? Because I'm impressed with your efforts I know how hard it is in the beginning, hell I know how hard it is period. Maybe you could try pointing that out to your partner.
Anyway, we are here for you.
And I thank you for not taking offense for the way I spoke to you, because no offense was intended.