I can see that your name is David, aka Daddy O, but no other information.
As far as quitting secretively, I don't know. The participants on this board are members of Narcotics Anonymous where we help each other stay clean and practice a program of recovery. Even though we all know about one another's addiction, we practice anonymity outside of the fellowship. We do not discuss any one else or their situations.
It is quite helpful to have support while giving up active addiction and bringing the principles of recovery into one's life. Perhaps you might find a Narcotics Anonymous meeting in your area and see what the folks there can do for you.
If your wife leaves you because of this illness you have she might even leave you if you had cancer, or some other illness? a life threatening disease inside that eats you alive ?
She's going to wonder what your up to unless she's totally blind ( physically and consciously ) so you may as well break the news to her at some point.
I would first get some support in your area with a sponsor helping you and guiding you who's got some experience in this area.
I,m quitting without my husband knowind that i,ve been useing.I,m going to meetings whenever i can and when i feel it,s the right time for me to talk to my husband about my useing then thats when i,ll tell him. I can,t deal with his anger or whatever his reaction might be and work my program too!Do i feel good about this?NO but it,s what i need to do for me.Anyway you wanted to know if someone else was dealing with the same issue and i am.
I thought that my wife didn't know that I was an addict. She knew all along and was very happy when I finally told her my problem. She still doesn't understand it, but she supports my recovery and she is very happy that I am clean and serene. Almost as happy as I am.
kenh
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God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.