Keli, a big hug to you. This is one of those times where there is no right or wrong decision. Work your program, be as honest as you can - even when it's really ugly - and stay in touch with your HP. And then do the best you can and take it from there. There will be ups and downs, pros and cons, joy and sadness along any path you take. Have patience. Practice acceptance.

With NA love and hugs from Blithe.

Many times, I've found that what I initially perceived as a curse turns out to be a concealed blessing. I strongly believe that everything that happens in the course of my daily recovery and life happens because my Higher Power has a loving, caring and compassionate intention for me behind giving me a certain experience, be it joy or grief, success or failure. All these situations and feelings, whether positive or negative, provide me with an opportunity to experience and evolve, to endure and grow at all levels, if I open my mind to a loving and caring intention of my Higher Power behind all that transpires using my Second Step...

(((((NA Hugs, Prayers & Blessings to Keli)))))

Now that its kind of sunk in, I'm starting to get used to the idea. Although I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch (ha ha ) this could be a wonderful thing. Definitely an adventure, thats for sure. So many things could go wrong, but I could sit around and project all day in my sick mind if i wanted to. I've just got heaps of decisions and responsibilities thrown on top of me right here when i barely have over 2 weeks clean (stopping smoking not the least of them). Anyways, I'm just trying to leave this up to God because theres really not a whole lot I can do about it except stay clean and try to take care of myself. Worrying and panicking isn't going to solve a single thing

Oh Tahir, I'm not nicotine free yet. I should have worded that differently . What i meant was one of my top concerns right now is the need to quit smoking. But I've been looking at babysites and reading about others who smoke who find themselves pregnant and the general consensus seems to be, talk to a doctor, and over the counter products might be harmful if your pregnant or nursing. I'm waiting til my medicaid application is approved them I'm going in for an ultrasound and I'll talk to the doc about it. In the meantime, trying to cut way down and smoke ultra lights, with a goal of no more than 3-4 a day and eventually none. So far I'm 3 weeks along. Took another test this morning just to watch it say I'm pregnant again, which it did right away. This is a trip! In 3 more weeks there will be little arms and legs starting and a little mouth! lol

Thank God I am clean when i found this out. I'm not going to say that a baby will keep me clean, because I know what addiction is capable of. But it is another extremely good reason to stay clean, and I need all the help I can get. I'm trying not to get too excited about it because it is still very early and things could go wrong and I don't want to set myself up for depression or relapse if something does happen. But at the same time i can't help feeling excited and a little awed

Glad Tahir asked how you are. Makes my problems seem run of the mill. Which, they are compared to bringing a new life into the world. Anyway Keli I'm sending positive vibes your direction and hoping you're taking good care of yourself.