Don't know if I'm in the right place as I am a family member of an addict and not an addict.
My ex husband has been addicted to drugs for over 20 years He has been in rehab twice only to turn back to the drugs. Last Jan he was found with drugs and arrested. He spent 3 months in jail to be released two weeks later and return to using. In May he was pulled over and found with drugs again. He was sentenced to 6 months in jail and is due to be released in October.
He rarely manages to hold a job more than a few weeks or month because he will inevitably return to using and end up disappering for days to get high. When he has gone through his money he turns to stealing from everyone. In the past years I have lost practically everything of value. When he was arrested in May he was driving my car. Having gone through his money on drugs and having no money for gas he had found my spare keys and stole it. My car ended up impounded leaving me to have to borrow money from my family to keep from loosing my car.
In the past months we have written on a regular basis. Each time I bring up the issue of drugs I hear that he's through with the drugs and going to turn his life around and be there for his children. I've heard this countless time only to seem him revert to the same lifestyle. When he talks about his plans upon release he talks about finding a job and attending a weekly meeting.
I ask myself what 6 months in jail has done that over 20 yrs hasn't done to beat his addiction. I believe he's only through with drugs because he's jail and dosen't have the finances to acquire them. I know that meetings are a big part to beating an addiction but they are only part of the picture. It all starts with him getting clean. Until he does he's just going to repeat the same cycle over and over and leave his family and children caught in the middle. He says he wants stay clean but how can someone beat 20 yrs of addiction going to a weekly meeting. Is he fooling himself to think he can just be through with drugs and go to a weekly meeting and be fine. Am I fooling myself to think he can beat this. How do you love someone and find the strength to let let go and let them fall.
Chances are 1 meeting a week for over 20 years of using wont work. But 7 meetings a week. one every day sounds better. and during the really hard times maybe two meetings a day. Times have changed and the idea of "once an addict always an addict" has def. changed as well. Through Treatment centers, meetings, partial hospitalization, Out patients, there is more than enough resources. He just has to through himself in the middle of all of it. To get more help because going through this kind of thing is real hard on the non-addict maybe check out some Nar-anon or alanon meetings. You can hear first hand experience from those just like you that lived with an addict. I hope this helped and you guys will be in my prayers
You might want to look for some NarAnon (http://nar-anon.org/naranongroups.htm) and/or Alanon (http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html) meetings in your area.
The people there are very supportive of family and friends of addicts. I'm sure they can offer you some good suggestions.
