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NA Message Board -> Narcotics Anonymous Message Board -> i still get stoned...
Post Info TOPIC: i still get stoned...
wantneeda


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i still get stoned...
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but in a whole different sorta way today :)

when i was little my grampa was a carpenter and i would use his hammer to crush rocks..i remember my amazement at the sparkle and many different colors.. skip ahead a few years to forgeting what real joy and happiness is i found a different kind of rock that dam near killed me. Actually it did kill me in many ways, emotionally and spiritually. It killed relationships, jobs, vehicles, sense of self worth, respect and faith.

What a gift recovery and this program is today.

We are coming up to thanksgiving here in canada..that was the day, a year ago, that i moved to where i live now and also 2 years ago that i went  to visit my mom and sister and crushed what little faith they had that i had 'recovered' i spent that whole weekend in a crack house..it was truly awful. they didn't understand why i drove 8 hours to visit just to do dope . Like i've said many times...i didn't plan it that way.. by christmas that year my daughter lost all faith and moved out and I was lost in active addiction for the next year. I was to ashamed to come back and almost didn't make it back. Today my greatest fear is not so much going back to that but literally staying there, in hell.

Anyways back to today :)

My love of rocks has grown, semi- precious rocks, crystals and gems. Today i make jewelry, and currently have 3 stores in town that sell it and a jewelry party is in the works. As well i took a few pieces to another store yesterday for their grand opening.
I went to the city yesterday to a rock and gem show. My favorite item i saw was an amethyst geode. Truly beautiful.
I spent 300 bucks on gems, sterling silver wire and gold filled wire. Sometimes its scary how much money i spend on this new passion but i figure what the heck i spent that and much more on getting stoned and killing myself without blinking an eye.
When i see a piece i created on someone i get goosebumps..
i already have repeat customers.
I took an even bigger plunge and ordered a package from the states that will tutor me on wire sculpting, today i've been waiting for around 4 weeks for this package and patience is running thin!! I have faith, it will come.

For the newcomers... can i suggest that you get a piece of amethyst, its a wonderful step one stone and helpful for addiction.

I currently make necklaces, bracelets, anklets, earrings, sterling silver rings, bookmarks, and suncatchers. All the stones have healing properties. i love it!!
I even ventured to buy a software package and printed out tag cards that have my name phone number and what property that particular stone has, now i'm pretty computer illiterate so i was really proud of myself to print out the first sheet ;)
Want to talk about self esteem building?? the fact that people love what i make.
Every time i get all shy and my ego comments. No matter i'm going with the flow!!

Today when my daughters send me a text or phone and ask what i'm up to...
i reply..
'getting stoned' :)

I prided myself on my ability to build things... good with a drill and a couple of tools...in active addiction i called myself a 'pipefitter'...sick

How it works, i've turned my trade around.. i still use tools and rocks
not to mention the tools of recovery... heres a funny story for ya..
my first stay in a treatment center i was in the orientation group meeting and the director was telling us how we would be getting 'tools for recovery'.... i got really excited and thought to myself...right on!! i'm gonna get myself a 'tool-box'...lol

for Wendy today...Recovery Rocks!!!! in more ways than one!!!

stay safe and smilin family
and just for today ... using is not an option!
love ya


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BigV


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Ok you scared me for a second there bleh

I too love precious things mine is gold, I am headed out on monday for one last dredgeing expedition, 5,000 ft into the Sierra Nevada mountains for 3 days, I will keep an eye out for some nice looking stones for you.

When recovery starts feeling comfortable ( takes a little while ) its the greatest thing, when you truly want to stay clean and really mean it thats something special. I never want to get loaded again, HONESTLY. I never thought I would feel or even say those words.

Ok now i am headed to Columbia this morning, very famous historical  spot here in california for gold i will  go to the side of the road in a small  little creek and steal a bucket of dirt to bring home and pan out later, i know theres gold in that dirt  its every where up there and they have to really great rock shops wantneeda plus saspirilla biggrin






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Blithe Spirit


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Wendy,

What a beautiful story (especially the ending) and beautifully told. Do you have a website? I'd love to see some of your work.



(If you don't have a website and want one someday, perhaps you'll consider me for the job. It's one of the things I like to build these days. Totally no pressure, though! I'm just trying to market myself when I can.)

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Character is what we do when no one is looking.
wantneeda


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BigV...tee hee...din't mean ta scare ya...:)

there is a rock and gem society in the big city next door here and they call themselves 'Rockhounds'... so that makes you a 'gold digger'? ha just kidding
Happy digging!! A friend of mine is working up in Watson's lake, they are building a road to a mine. He was just home and told me bout all of the crystals , rocks and minerals there...big huge pieces of iron pyrite... he is so close to the artic circle and says its beautiful there...

Blithe Spirit, thankyou!
funny you should mention Web site, yes i have been thinking about it, i tried to take pics with my digital but i can't seem to get good focus up close...
and no pressure felt my friend, i struggled with telling this story here as well as in meetings, i haven't told it yet there...something bout attraction and not promotion... i don't want to use meetings to promote my work... bottom line though it IS my story...:)

A friend from a different 12 step program called me just the other day and offered her boyfriends services to build a website.. something told me to just think about it and not jump on her offer right away. So i'm definitely willing to chat with you about it.

hugs in recovery, Wendy



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Blithe Spirit


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Wendy,

I don't want to clog up the thread with business talk, so please feel free to send an email if you have website questions. The first part is just learning about how it works, so ask a lot of questions.

Even if you don't want to pursue that, which is totally and completely fine, I can probably give some hints to help with your photos.

As for you sharing your story, I did not feel that you were promoting. The message I got was that you were sharing the joy of your new life and the common thread that has run through your life. Personally, I love to hear about other recovering addicts' courageous adventures, like starting a business by doing what one loves. I mean, it doesn't get any better than that. And it gives me the courage to believe that maybe I can do it, too. (I'm trying, I'm trying.)

Generally speaking, is there something about NA that makes it hard to share happiness and success? I often wonder about that.


Peace out from Blithe Spirit

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BigV


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Near the arctic circle theres a mine I know of and its unbelievable the gold they've gotten out of the mine in the last 1-1/2 years, they can only work IN the mine in the winter before the permafrost starts to thaw then in the summer they have water to work all the rock thats been removed.


I didn't find you much of anything this weekend didn't get a chance to get away from the family to rockhound or even pan for some gold but tomorrow I am going out to dredge all day with my new high banker :)

Would you like some Mariposite ? I have some of that saved and its not found but in a few places across the world

You could build your own website fairly easy this is where I built mine its free, I pay for mine keeps the ads off the site but you can buiild one for free at least

http://www.bravenet.com/






-- Edited by BigV at 00:29, 2007-09-25

-- Edited by BigV at 00:29, 2007-09-25

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