my boyfriend and i are having a rough patch and school/college stuff is back in full swing. and i'm stressed. the shit with my boyfriend is really killing me. i called my dealer today and i asked if could get some stuff, but then i realized i don't have the money. but i'll do whatever it takes, and it's so wrong, but i'm having these urges. i'm having terrible impulses to get high again. =[
and i have to work all the time so i can't go to meetings! I NEED TO GO TO MEETINGS. i need help. i really need help so i don't relapse again.
Do you have a sponsor? A phone list? If you can't get to meetings, maybe you could keep in touch with other recovering addicts over the telephone. Reading literature also helps.
Whatever happens, you don't have to use. The urges will pass. The rough patch with your boyfriend will pass. Things as work and school will settle into a manageable routine. You can have faith that with some recovery and step work under your belt, life will become more manageable.
The goals for now are to let the urges come and go without using and to find a way to stay in touch with recovery.
Caitlin close calls come an go we have to stop thinking that drugs are the anwers to solving our problems, changing our feelings all we do is hide in them and the sooner we face life and its terms the sooner our lives get better.
i asked if could get some stuff, but then i realized i don't have the money. but i'll do whatever it takes, and it's so wrong, but i'm having these urges. i'm having terrible impulses to get high again. =[
and i have to work all the time so i can't go to meetings! I NEED TO GO TO MEETINGS. i need help. i really need help so i don't relapse again.
I went to any lengths to get my drug and use it. In recovery, that's all I need to do too - go to any lengths to stay clean.
I realized that I had to make meetings, I still do. On my staying clean and on my daily maintenance of recovery depends my life, my job, my relationship etc.
Please try to make meetings Caitlin, be it face-to-face or online. Stay connected with recovering addicts in NA in any way you can on a daily basis. The ultimate weapon we have agains our disease of addiction is another recovering addict. Have a support network of at least half a dozen NA members to reach out to. Be active at NA forums such as this one...
I did not care if I knew a pusher beforehand or not, I just stormed into his place and got what I wanted. Today, I don't need to know any of you from before you know. I just storm in here or at any other NA meeting place and ask for help. It's my right that NA has gifted me
(((((Big NA Hugs to Caitlin)))))
This too shall pass, we don't have to use, come hell or high water, JUST FOR TODAY!
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Caitlin, Surrender. Look around for your higher power. Is he/she there with you? No? Well then one of you has moved away and I suspect it's you. re-connect with your higher power power. Give him/her your stress, grief, and desire. Let go. Surrender.
Hi Caitlin, how are you feeling now? thinking of you...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
It's been forever since I have posted. I pray that I am still smiled upon with happiness and love. To Caitlin or anyone that is thinking about using, drinking whatever. It's your "CHOICE." When I was out there USING and DRINKING and SMOKING. I made all kinds of "BAD CHOICES."
Don't hang around Slippery people, places, and things. I would not take advice from anyone especially a winner only from a looser because I couldn't be around someone nice it was like they had the plaque. They couldn't be trusted they might convert me over and I would have to go straight.
I must have stopped using for the last time at least 1200's of times before my last BOTTOM. I started young at 13 years old so I had lots of practice. My boyfriend used to have fun watching me take as much dope as I could swallow being a heavy hitter in a Motorcycle gang back in the late 60's and 70's. I graduated up in class of boyfriends living an exceptionally immoral life.
You reallly have to want THE SOBRIETY, THE RECOVERY, GOD. I had wanted them all and I am still going full throttle at 14 years in February 2008. If I can put down the Coke, drink, cigarettes. "ANYONE CAN" and it's "WORTH IT."
I LOVE the GIFT I have been given and I want to GIVE it away to anyone that wants it. That OLD SAYING about JUST SAY NO! IT'S TRUE, Tell yourself NO. Then ask for HELP
SOBRIETY IS EVERYTHING! Without it I loose it all even my life.
(((((Blessed))))) so glad to hear from you. Welcome back We need you here...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
