Have you stood beside your cell doors when they were open
And known there was nothing to stop you from experiencing
The world but yourself?
I no longer need the cell doors for protection
From the pain and fear of my former life.
This is my life in my own words..........
I was eight years old when I meet this kid a little older than me. He said," I will show you the world just fellow me." Like a fool I did. He show me how to get drugs for free. I used for ten years. I used my body to get what I wanted and it worked. I also was in martial arts and become a teacher. I meet my son's mother when I was forteen I fell in love. But I don't ever remember not been high. When she had my son she passed away soon after that. I didn't have anything to do with my son. I was high all the time. On Christmas I tried to kill myself.
On January 15,2003, I come out of a coma. My world changed my son become sick. I have been clean for three years. Before they did surgery on me that I want into a coma and had a stroke. But I stayed clean though all that.
On May 5,2007,I relapsed, still I really don't understand the real reason I did it. I almost lost it all. On July 5,2007, the cops found me. On July 6,2007, I want to treatment. I have been clean since that day. I surrended to my high power. I ask him," to give me another chance. Safe me from myself. I can't do this on my own.
God aided me in unlocking the cell door of my disease It no longer keeps me prisoner nor holds anyone at a distance He took me by the hand beckoned me though the terror and said,"COME WALK WITH ME AND LIVE YOUR LIFE."
I have been clean 57 days. I work my steps ,do the readings and go to meetings. I'm greatful for my family and my family though N.A.. Without them I don't want to know were I would be at.
Heck of time. Thanks for sharing. We never have to get back to that pathetic life again, when we don't even care about the ones that need us most. I can remember some things that, I can't believe to this day how I could have done the things I did. I know I will not go down that pathetic road again.
You know the right road, stay on it. Keep comin back with NA. Great to have you with us Jayson.
Kenh
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God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.
I spent a totall of about 13-15 years in and out of prison but many more years then that imprisoned by my addiction and not finding any way out , it controlled my mind and body worse then actually being behind bars.
Today I am so greatful like yourslef Jayson, #1 I do not struggle or even fight today I am free from this addiction, someone told me tonight whilst drinking was going on around me at a family gathering " I admire your resiliance not to drink" I said " Its not longer a fight" I dont fight with the obsession or compulsion much at all anymore something has freed me of that , for today.
So I am so glad you have found what has been offered here Jayson and others here, glad that i've found it myself.
Well said Big V. I am starting to feel the same way. I can sit around people drinking at family gatherings or close friends at barbeques etc and nobody really says anything about me not drinking. I like it like that and being able to make a clear headed decision to leave at just the right time. I would not want to tempt myself with anything else. I will avoid being around people using at all costs.
As you say advice, readings, directions are offered every day, just need to act on them.
Kenh
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God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.
Thank you for sharing your strength and hope with us, Jayson. So glad we have you here with us. Congrats on the 57 Miracles. Blessings and peace.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
