whose been clean for 18 yrs I am a female with a male friend whose SO is an alcoholic and an addict, however no one has told him that part and when any of us broach the subject he says well at least I know shes not doing that! But I'd like to explain to him when he says they have "porn sex" that its probably coke sex not drunk sex in a more delicate way. She works in a bar and has a terrible reputation which I have talked to him about. Any way to explain that part of reputation is her coke addiction? He didnt talk to me for over a week after I told him her nickname was Whorie Lorie. He is talking to me again and he knows that her drinking is part of why shes called that. But I think he should know the rest of the story? EVERYONE talks about him and her but no one but me has said anything. Any suggestions? Sorry this is soo long but its a little compicated. Thanks for reading!
you can try to approach him about it but that sad fact is people are going to do what they want to do. You can't work someone else's program....it sucks. All you can do is speak your peace and pray for him. Just don't get your expectations up because that can lead to a resentment. We are powerless over other peoples actions. Just plant the seed and if he isn't ready to hear it then he isn't ready to hear it but at least the seed has been planted and when the pain gets great enough he will know that you are there to talk about it. Just remember things happen in Gods time not ours...... hope that helps Keep coming back
Hi Previous user, congratulations on 18 years. I have been in the same situation as your friend when I was using. I tried to help women with drug problems or I was trying to help myself, I don't know for sure. I would hang out with some women, I knew they were addicts and would do anything to get hooked up. I would treat them really good, give them lots of money, hang out with them, keep them in drugs etc. I never listened to what people had to say. I have only learned on my own how foolish I was. I do think that I was influenced by people I respected when they told me to get away from those women that were using me. In fact I really knew that these women were using me for what ever I had. Now that I have been away from that life for 14 months (1 relapse 3 months ago and never again), I realize the mistakes that I have made especially with women.
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God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.