Hello All, It's obvious there are disagreements in our forum regarding the banishment of a member and it's very tempting to take sides. I see posts deleted and others edited. There will always be diffirences of opinion. It's how we deal with them that is vital. "Our leaders are but trusted servants they do not govern". I think we should face our problems instead of burrying them and whishing they'd go away. In my opinion, the leaders of this forum should openly discuss this issue with us. We have a right to know what is going on.
Sorry about that. It's just I sense this weird vibe going round in this forum. I see a post then I don't see it and then I see another in its place. Can someone explain? Thanks, Magellan
I had to moderate a few posts and threads here as per the generally accepted guidelines of this forum, which are, that this is a recovery forum for addicts seeking recovery the NA way, where we share our experience, strength and hope with each other, to help each other stay clean... Now, these posts were moderated since I felt it was inappropriate to post them here at a recovery forum. I have experienced online fellowshipping at many such groups for a few years now and have seen private wars being raged between members and abuse hurled at each other due to which many members stopped going to such forums and a few of those forums are literally dead now as they did not serve the primary purpose anymore once these personal attacks and abuse started.
It is ok to have grievances and to express them in a clear and respectful, non-offensive way, thru the proper channels like writing to the co-ordinator or moderator of the group and addresssing such grievances directly with the person involved, but it's not ok for me to, for example, openly go on an allout attack on you at this forum just because I'm angry with you. For that, this NA forum is not a place.
Please try to understand that I say this as a matter of principle and not in context of any person involved. I, for one, would not want to log in at an online support group, expecting to get some strength and hope, but instead finding blame-and-shame posts between members there... I would probably feel that this is not the place that can support my recovery and quit, and I'm sure many more would, as has been my experience at other groups... and that is why I had to moderate these posts and threads...
And these posts that I moderated were not any shares, but just some private messages that one member has sent to another as personal mail...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
2ala2 said "In my opinion, the leaders of this forum should openly discuss this issue with us. We have a right to know what is going on." Then what? Make motions and vote? That is the surest way to have this group die at least it is IMO.
Tahir said "And these posts that I moderated were not any shares, but just some private messages that one member has sent to another as personal mail..." You are kidding right Tahir? You actually moderated private messages, that one member had sent to another as personal mail? Sorry to say my friend, that is not your job. Do you have any idea about what you're saying and did, Tahir?
Relinquish your position my man. You really have no idea about how you crossed the line here as a Trusted Servant, do you?
Tahir said "And these posts that I moderated were not any shares, but just some private messages that one member has sent to another as personal mail..." You are kidding right Tahir? You actually moderated private messages, that one member had sent to another as personal mail? Sorry to say my friend, that is not your job. Do you have any idea about what you're saying and did, Tahir?
Relinquish your position my man. You really have no idea about how you crossed the line here as a Trusted Servant, do you?
You are misunderstanding. I am not going to explain the situation because it is not my place. I think any drama or complaints should be taken to private message system or email.
I dont see very much division at all, I like whats been posted on this board by those who know the inner workings of this board and those who have shared there ES&H.
And we dont need to keep rehashing it, it's done, we all have to accept the decisions that were made .
You misunderstood cledus what Tahir said , those posts were made directly on this board they were copied and pasted here on the board, messages sent by other people in private and never should have been post on this board.
Don't jump to conclusions until you have all the facts.
"You are misunderstanding. I am not going to explain the situation because it is not my place" Jason D
"You misunderstood cledus what Tahir said , those posts were made directly on this board they were copied and pasted here on the board, messages sent by other people in private and never should have been post on this board.
Don't jump to conclusions until you have all the facts". Big V So it's your place Big V?
How could I not have misunderstood Tahir? A Trusted Servant should never post about an action he/she took without supplying all the pertanent information, so as to avoid misunderstandings. The conclusion I came to was based only on the information Tahir gave.
So Big V, before you accuse me of jumping to conclusions, please read what and the only information that I based my comment on. I would never have written what I did if the facts surrounding Tahir's action were made available by Tahir.
For instance, what would it seem like to a Newcomer to this forum to read>>>
"And these posts that I moderated were not any shares, but just some private messages that one member has sent to another as personal mail..." That statement first of all tells me, that a Trusted Servant is writing it(I moderated) then all it says that the TS did not moderate shares 'JUST' some 'PRIVATE MESSAGES' that were sent to someones as 'PERSONAL MAIL'.
Being a relatively new participant on this board(not a new member or new to NA), I was admittedly shocked to be left with the impression, that a Trusted Servants of Miracles In Progress, could also moderate and censor private messages. That was not a dream I had, that's what was written. Had that impression been left with me, and had I been a Newcomer, I know I would have surely left this forum because of the fear that MIP Trusted Servants could violate my privacy at will and be in a position to expose things that are meant only for those they were written to. Some may think this is a far fetched, off base theory, but this very thing(my ES&H) actually happened and was one of the contributing factors for another NA forum to be lost because of the loss of total Group Trust that one TS undermined committing this very act(moderating, censoring, and exposing private messages bound for private emails). I'm sure many members here remember the group and the fiasco I speak of.
So Trusted Servants of MIP(especially new addicts), one suggestion if I may, when you speak of actions you take, remember to also include all the particulars. Not to include everything leads to misunderstandings, false impressions and jumping to conclusions. It'll also prevent posts perpetrated towards others that eventually 'DO' cause 'Divisions' because of the possiblity of resentments those types of posts may cause.
You can email the moderators of this board and discuss the details with them cledus.
That will not be necessary. I think I understand now what happened as far as what was deleted & why it was deleted. Tahir did the right thing by removing private messages, posted without the sender's & the recipient's permission that were being used for, an invasion of privacy, libellous, or other damaging purposes by another member. Thank you Tahir.
You can email the moderators of this board and discuss the details with them cledus.
I'm grateful that my loving family here understood it clearly now, inspite my not being clear in my communication as was pointed by one dear member. Communication has been one tough learning curve for me in my recovery. Sometimes, even my loved ones are not able to understand what I'm trying to express, and English not being my mother tongue, I tend to express by transliterating from Hindi (the language of my thoughts and feelings) to English, in the process, ending up implying other meanings too, in the process I guess
Anyways, have been part of NA for sometime now, and have made mistakes and am grateful that I do, as I always learn something new thru those experiences that my loving Higher Power sends my way.
Please forgive me for not being more clearer and better in my communication. I will try to improve, and thanks for giving me the freedom to have the right to be wrong at times
I love each one of you dearly and I need you all in my recovery.
Hugs, Love & Light ~ Tahir.
-- Edited by Tahir at 04:10, 2007-06-28
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Thank you Cledus, that was so sweet and kind of you...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
