its weird, for a week or so now i've been vaguely resentful about having to go to meetings and uninterested in reaching out and talking to people. though i have been making meetings/talking with my sponsor everyday, i just don't feel like it much anymore. i guess i just feel indifferent and i don't know whether thats just me feeling tired, a difficulty with me just being consistant with something, or my disease trying to get me to stop going to meetings and eventually use. and i know i'm far from any belief in being "fixed", i've been going through a few strong emotional waves but it doesn't seem to make any difference. so anyways, does anyone have any good ideas on how to reconnect with the program?
Yeah I go thru it also thing you'll have to realize that sometimes no matter what we do it's not good enough, thats something I struggle with.
Take the moment each day 1 day at a time ask your self what do I need to do to stay clean today, what do I need to do to make my life better, how can I enjoy what I have.
Yes your addiction is going to play mind games, be on top of the game man don't let that rule your thoughts and actions recognize what and who your disease is it is out to kill you, it wants to get high it may even want your soul.
Getting in here and telling on your self is good, your being honest, keep that willingness , go to meetings, talk with people and your sponsor talk with your higher power then listen.
It is going to be a struggle for awhile it pass's but the work still remains.
man I have felt the same way recovery in na in the area I am sucks donkey dick..I hate it but I miss being connected with people back where I came from...
And all the other slogans i so hated when i first got here....this program isn't for the faint of heart....it takes alot of work, and I get lazy myself...matter of fact i feel kinda the same way.... and you bringing it up helps me get back on the work I need to do to stay clean another day.
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Faith: the substance of things hoped for, the belief in things unseen
sounds like you are right where you need to be when i had those feeling I had to remember JFT tomorrow had no bearing on reality for me because I can only take one day at a time keep in contact with powers u understand pray pray hard and do not forget to breathe
Another slogan that helped me at those apathetic times when I don't want to go to meetings is
"Bring your body and the mind will follow" and
"Those who don't go to meetings don't get to see what happens to those who don't go to meetings."
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
