from an outside perspective my situation seems really clear and i've even been able to recognize that fact, though it doesn't help fully. anyways, i'm new it recovery (5 months) and i've become friends with someone that has been coming around for about 10 years, never really worked a program, chronic relapser, and unfortunately (i guess for me) is really fun to be around where its almost sort of addicting. and i see that same reaction in other people oddly enough. and he called me last night and told me he was drunk, maybe a week after his last relapse on crack. and i know this is insanity and i can at least recognize that his life is his responsibility and yet i end up feeling slightly sad regardless. and i don't know, i wonder if anyone has ever had to walk away from a friendship that was really bad for them and if they had any tips. thanks.
I had to walk away from ppl I have known for several years in fact about 2 weeks agao an X boyfriend got outta prison the first thing they do is call me to see what I am doing did not take long for drama to creep its way back into my life. I will have 20 moths may 1st and I had to change email accounts and go to great lengths so that this person could not contact me I even deleted myspace Today I am willing to go to whatever lengths to stay clean. Welcome tro MIP your sister in recovery Manon aka Rayne
I fired my fishing partener of 2 years a couple months back because of his drug use around me. I don't associate with anyone who is actively using addictively, I have friends that drink and smoke pot(not around me) but dont seem to have issues with it and thats fine there the lucky ones. To be honest I really dont hang with them either just dont quite fit in with the social user crownd either.
I was told to let go of the people places and things that reminded me of using when I first came in. At the time I didnt quite understand, I was a user so were they, wasn't I supposed to help them too?
Bottom line is, before I can help someone else I better be able to help myself. Otherwise, i would be a "chronic relapser" too. I really hate that term, because what it really means is a person that can't, or wont be honest with themselves. Notice I didn't use the "give themselves to this simple program" line.
This is all from my experience, and doesn't rep NA as a whole, but there are three things I MUST be, Willing, honest, and openminded. The rest comes over a period of time, where I make mistakes and learn from them, AKA the "process" of recovery. Anyway, to me dude you are hanging with is a danger to your clean time. When he is ready to clean up, you'll know. I've seen it happen to good people, the person is nice and friendly, then pulls out newcomers with him/her to get high when things get tough. Can't leave it at screwing up their life, gotta take others down with the ship. There is a term for that too.....coward...... anyway, I am rambling, so suggestion to you is to worry bout you and your sobriety at first, you'll have plenty of time to help thers when they are ready.
Peace out
Brett
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Faith: the substance of things hoped for, the belief in things unseen
thanks for the suggestions everyone. oddly enough it sort of worked itself out, not in any sort of calm and civil way though. and so now i have him completely out of my life and it ended with way more drama, and with way more people involved than i would've wished or ever would've felt comfortable with. but yeah, and i sort of feel this feeling of freedom because i don't think i could've just walked away and never looked back since my will sometimes wavers still. but yeah, thanks for your support.
Get used to those " oddly enoughs" it will happen more and more as time goes by and as long as you are working this program and haiving faith in something bigger then yourself, don't question it take the help humbly and give thanks.
