If you find yourself stuck in traffic, dont despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege. Should you have had a bad day at work, think of the person who has been out of work for years. Should you despair over a relationship gone bad, think of the person who has never known what it is like to love and be loved in return. Should you grieve the passing of another weekend, think of the woman in dire straits who is working 12 hours a day, 7 days a week to feed her children. Should your car break down leaving you miles from assistance, think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk. Should you notice a new grey hair in the mirror, think of the cancer patient on chemotherapy who wishes she had hair to examine. Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what life is all about, asking what you purpose is, be thankful. There are those who did not live long enough to get that opportunity. Should you find yourself the victim of other peoples bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities, remember - things could be worse. You could be them.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
A hard thing to do is look at something in a cognitive perspective, in other words looking at something from another persons view and this shows us just that.
Instead of looking at things in a narrative view which is our own, we should see things and try to understand how others see them or feel. I was listening to a NA tape one day and the guy said we should " try and understand other people and not expect them to always understand us". I think that especially works when we're involved in personal relationships with people who don't struggle with what we've all got.
This morning before i woke up I was actually thinking about somethings i've done in personal realtionships that have harmed those relationships, i've done it again in another one recently and was told that because of what I have done I have basically put a wedge between us and at first I felt defensive, now i'm sad, because I know all this person wants is for me to be kinder, gentler and for some reason at times, I have a very difficult time doing that, I am stumptified with myself
I still end up acting out on those old behaviors like I did last evening in context of my wife... I never thought that a casual comment with no intention of hurting another could actually turn out offensive... I feel so bad through out today for what I said to her... But I guess, no use beating up myself and indulge in self-flagellation... I am in the process of amends now... In spite of having done it many times before and having felt the freedom and peace that making amends had given me before, it's still so hard sometimes for me to humble myself, let go of my ego and make amends... the tendency to expect the other to just forgive me and let go and behave with me as if nothing has happened resurfaces again and again... I admit my mistake, but get caught easily in the wishful thinking that I would escape the consequences... thank God, I'm aware of all this today that goes within me, and just do it no matter what my head says... and most importantly, share all this openly with others in NA...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
I still end up acting out on those old behaviors like I did last evening in context of my wife... I never thought that a casual comment with no intention of hurting another could actually turn out offensive... I feel so bad through out today for what I said to her... But I guess, no use beating up myself and indulge in self-flagellation... I am in the process of amends now... In spite of having done it many times before and having felt the freedom and peace that making amends had given me before, it's still so hard sometimes for me to humble myself, let go of my ego and make amends... the tendency to expect the other to just forgive me and let go and behave with me as if nothing has happened resurfaces again and again... I admit my mistake, but get caught easily in the wishful thinking that I would escape the consequences... thank God, I'm aware of all this today that goes within me, and just do it no matter what my head says... and most importantly, share all this openly with others in NA...
On the same page brother, you aren't alone if that comforts you at all
I'm back in defense mode this afternoon, made things worse, like a soap opera here, "As vini's world turns dark once again"........
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
