"We want to look our past in the face, see it for what it really was, and release it so we can live today."
Basic Text p. 28
Many of us had trouble identifying our resentments when we were new in recovery. There we sat with our Fourth Step in front of us, thinking and thinking, finally deciding that we just didn't have any resentments. Perhaps we talked ourselves into believing that we weren't so sick after all.
Such unwitting denial of our resentments stems from the conditioning of our addiction. Most of our feelings were buried, and buried deep. After some time in recovery, a new sense of understanding develops. Our most deeply buried feelings begin to surface, and those resentments we thought we didn't have suddenly emerge.
As we examine these resentments, we may feel tempted to hold onto some of them, especially if we think they are "justified." But what we need to remember is that "justified" resentments are just as burdensome as any other resentment.
As our awareness of our liabilities grows, so does our responsibility to let go. We no longer need to hang on to our resentments. We want to rid ourselves of what's undesirable and set ourselves free to recover.
Just for today: When I discover a resentment, I'll see it for what it is and let it go.
Just starting my 4th Step. I have been working on a "justifiable" resentment in therapy, and funny thing - it seems I will be able to let go of all of them easier now, and I have found that life is so much more enjoyable when I let them go! I am sooooooooooo free now. I will definitely keep coming back!
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The Triumph is not in succeeding, but in not being afraid to fail.
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Once we are able to pinpoint sticking points(did that make sense LOL) we have something real to work on, we become more aware of whats happening with us under certain situations which makes us able to change our behaviors and actions and sometimes even our thoughts .
After time I find that I start doing things differently, HEY where did that come from I say to myself sometimes, I am begining to become someone I don't recognize and this is a good thing usually :) for one things it's different and it's not negative or harmful, yes I still make the same mistakes at times and I may have to go thru more suffering before I find utopia and yeah i'll probably hurt other people along the way but its much less then it used to be by far.
I was told along time ago a resentment is like playing a scene over and over in our head, like a movie scene I try to shut that off now or at best understand what the resentment is about and its always about me that much I know.
Good luck Maggie do it thouroughly hold back nothing, let it go and feel that freedom there were things I would never ever discuss with any human being that I ended up letting out of the closet today I can talk about those things with other people and not feel shame , under the right circumstances that is.
