I have had a rough couple day turned 19months april first but last night i wanted to use and bad I went to sleep instead and bought a pack of smokes the weight that i have put on since I became clean is getting outta control I used to stay so tyhin so life on lifes' terms is giving me a run for my money needless to say I smoked maybe 4 ciggs and put thenm in the freezer and woke up choking I will say the chantix works yea. a friend called from way back in my past that i used to dance with and she is still small and looks fine and me well................ need to pracctice some acceptance and surrender this is me now JFT
Yeah I have the same problem but it's my eating habits that are out of control and thats something we also have to take responsibilty for . I lost 25 pounds last year looked and felt great but it took work, fighting off bad behaviors and getting a diet that is something you can live with and manage takes planning.
When we're sick and tired of being like this we'll do something about it HUH
I do good with living life on lives term as long as life is going good for me. I find it much more of a challenge then when everything is going well. Its those hard times I feel weak and at risk.
SoulSearcher wrote: I do good with living life on lives term as long as life is going good for me. I find it much more of a challenge then when everything is going well. Its those hard times I feel weak and at risk.
One of the first things we learn in Narcotics Anonymous is that if we use, we lose. By the same token, we won't experience as much pain if we can avoid the things that cause us pain.
I Take an inventory of what brings on these situations then I have a something to work on so that the next time that same situation comes around I have a foundation to stand on and am less at risk and am stronger.
No one promised a rose garden when we got clean..... just that it would be different that how we lived in the past. I have to accept that I cannot use successfully ever no matter how hard I try, I will end up in the same old place, jails institutions or dead spiritually, mentally, or physically.
That being said, I do have some control over my life. I have to look for a means of support, I have to live even on bad days, and I have to keep low expectations and high tolerance. The things I don't like in my life usually end up in inventory, and I talk about solutions with my sponsor versus just saying oh well, I have to just surrender and accept.
I do have to surrender and accept, but not to the point where I allow it to become a crutch or an excuse. Believe me I am guilty many times over on that one. But this whole thing isn't about that to me. Its about making mistakes, and not getting high to cover it up. Its about facing all my fears and shortcomings and learning to live within them so they are no longer an excuse to use ANYTHING. God knows it is tough sometimes, but I can't quit and there are days when I wish i were dead, but overall, I gotta say I am proud that I can say I have truged the road towards happy destiny, and nothing life has thrown at me has been an excuse for getting high.
Hang in there till it hurts, then hang in there some more... and get the courage to change the things you can.... like how you feel about you.....
Peace out my peeps....
Brett
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Faith: the substance of things hoped for, the belief in things unseen
Hey Rayne, Wanted to tell you I have the same problem. Actually, one the reasons I use drugs is to keep my weight down. I've been totally clean for 38 days now and my last ride was for 7 months and I lost 49 pounds (nearly died) as I was not really over-weight. I thought I looked great but looking at pictures now I see that I looked really really sick with a foot in the grave. I gain weight when i'm clean (always) and I hate myself coz all the clothes don't fit and i keep eating like a maniac. I open the fridge at night and I don't even know what I want to consume, but anything is better than being slave to that wretched substance and anything is better that waking up tired and aching, broke and mean. Hang in there, you're definately better clean. If you can't lose weight than try, as a start, to maintain your current weight for a while. If you do that, you can start losing weight very very slowly. If you don't then just be grateful you've been give a second chance and that you're alive
oops, I pressed the "post" button without finishing......a second chance and you're alive and here with us, a second chance to gain and lose, the other way is only losing and much more than weight. I'm on my way to gaining major weight and I don't seem able to stop it. I'm trying not to eat at night or to just eat fruits or salads in the evening. I will try harder. take care, Magellan
ty all of u so much for being in support of me this board has taught me anything it is that pain shared is pain lessened love ya MIP working on a 4th step as well so tention is high staying in contact with my sponser as well as my support learning to reach out when I hurt again ty Manon aka Rayne
