Hey all, I have really been struggling with opening my mouth in the program, and I don't even have to open my mouth here, nor look anyone in the eye, but I guess I have to sit with myself, so being honest with you means I'm being honest with myself. I talk to my sponsor everyday, and have been doing extensive writting on many things, fear especially, relapse and recovery, and hanging on for dear life. I Have decided that I am going to ask about taking low dose suboxone for pain management, because the truth of the matter is I am in so much fucking pain that I can't do anything, but as soon as I take a few pain pills I take a few more, and I just want to be out of pain and not high. I have been waiting for ever to see this specialist who knows I'm an addict, but I won't get to see him until feb 21st. So, pain pills in my brain is screwing up my program abit, because obviously it's hard to get any clean time, but I'm working the program and being accountable for my intake to the best of my ability and trying to live in the solution and not the problem. My life has been so much better since coming to NA, I want it to keep going in that direction. Where the heck is Peggy? I guess I could check the chat room, but I am being worked by my sponsor and my pseudo sponsor and they've got me writing alot, so, maybe I'll check in tonight. Hope you are all well Jenny
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We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience
Hi Jenny you hang in there gal as long as you keep trying hopefully somehow you'll find a way to deal with that pain your in and i'm really sorry about that.
Right now i'm having alot of trouble with my lousy elbow, tendinitis, gout in my foot a few months back, i've had back problems in the past that were pretty severe , shoulder tear 2 years ago that left me in pain for 8 months, a hernia around my belly button that was repaired 2 years ago thats now torn back open LOL sometimes this starts getting to be a big mess.
Your life has gotten better since coming here and that is in part whats this is about i'm glad you still come here and discuss this with us .
Hi Jenny, I'm sorry to here you have so much pain. I can totaly relate I have suffered from cronic pain since 99'. In my experance pain leads to depresion witch leads to getting high. I have to take pain med's and a few people I know in the program do as well. There are ways you can get some relief from the pain safley. Some people give there pills to a family member to dispence so the dont take too many, for me I know if I'm feeling pain free I have taken too much. It's important to know that pain pills should not take your pain away but just make it livable. My sponsor told me the difference between being in pain and suffering , I only take a pill when I'm suffering.
When you do get to see the specialist you will see that there are many other options aswell, non narcotic meds, phsio, talk therapy for pain, mindfullness meditation, relaxation . There are so many options out there that you will find out about so please dont let it get the best of you , just hold on till the 21st and know there is hope.
I stiil have pain every day and probably always will but today using a lot of the tools i just mentioned and my HP I dont suffer much and I know I will be ok. I wish you all the best, stay strong, we are here for you.
