Many of us have lived as if we always had to be right. We did not stop to notice that other things we cared about were being lost such as friends who got tired of our persistent need to be right, or children whose self-esteem was undermined when there was no room for their ideas, or a former mate who drifted away because we could relax only if we were proven right. In our differences there is much more to look at and far more to settle than who is right and who is wrong.
An intimate connection is simply communicating our differences to each other and understanding them. Agreement is usually not necessary. These differences give us an opportunity to view the world intimately through someone else's eyes. Defeating our differences defeats our opportunities to learn. We need just exclaim, Oh that's another way to see it!
Our task is to learn how others see the world. We grow because we gain a second outlook.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
It's a control thing is how I figured it Tahir, and I did it and still do it sometimes , I have to stay diligent on this issue man!
I'm a fixer of things LOL always want things to go my way, my opinion is not my opinion it is my DEMAND, do you see the pattern their?
I have learned that I need to be there as SUPPORT for others and not the ruler, otherwise yes, i'm definetly going to push people away.
So today i try not to have a unrealistic EXPECTATION of the outcome of people, places things and situations. It's difficult at time but I am powerless over people places, things and some situations, period...
And yet my power comes when I let things be, let others choose and make there own choices they respect me more for letting them have that freedom.
I heard once in a tape and i've mentioned this several times, our places it to understand OTHERS not expect them to understand ME, i'm alot more complicated and filled with trouble then NORMY'S thats for sure LOL
