"Our spiritual condition is the basis for a successful recovery that offers unlimited growth."
Basic Text p. 43
When our members celebrate their recovery anniversaries, they often say that they've "grown up" in NA. Well, then, we think, what does that mean? We start to wonder if we're grown-ups yet. We check our lives and yes, all the trappings of adulthood are there: the checkbook, the children, the job, the responsibilities. On the inside, though, we often feel like children. We're still confused by life much of the time. We don't always know how to act. We sometimes wonder whether we're really grown-ups at all, or whether we're children who've somehow been put into adult bodies and given adult responsibilities.
Growth is not best measured by physical age or levels of responsibility. Our best measure of growth is our spiritual condition, the basis of our recovery. If we're still depending on people, places, and things to provide our inner satisfaction, like a child depending on its parents for everything, we do indeed have some growing to do. But if we stand secure on the foundation of our spiritual condition, considering its maintenance our most important responsibility, we can claim maturity. Upon that foundation, our opportunities for growth are limitless.
Just for today: The measure of my maturity is the extent to which I take responsibility for the maintenance of my spiritual condition. Today, this will be my highest priority.
6 months clean and i'm getting liserable again things are piling up in my head and i'm begining to throw tantrums and losing my patients.
It's mostly fear , some fear of the unknown some fears of failure in business some fears of economic failure, fear of messing up my relationship, fear fear fear.........
I guess i am living in the opposite of TRUST and today I stopped and told my HP that i will trust that all these things will work themselves out in the best way, even if some become what I fear I have to muster my way thru and try the best I can and I had to give myself credit for just how far I have come in this short time.
So maybe I am growing up just a bit, as long as I stay on a spiritual path and stand secure growth will come.
I also need to hit a live meeting soon I need to get around some people in the program.
Hey bigV, I miss you guys alot. I've checked into the chat room a couple of times but it was empty. I'm doing very well right now, and have been working very hard at identifying my fears, how they are triggers for me, and how I can exist in the solution, not the fear. I've done alot of writing on fear and shared it with my sponsor, then set up a safety plan so that if I manifest my fears, I have the right support in place to keep me safe. It all sounds good, I know, living it is another story. But if I look at today, just for today, I can see that most of my fear stuff is because of memories of past experiences, and will take place some time in the future, so why stress about it today when things are ok right? Anyway, my higher power is at work in my life so I just need to keep turning it over. Miss you and everyone a whole lot, Your friend in recovery Jenny
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We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience
Thanks, I just added a posting on this every subject. Growing up spiritually is sometimes a scary place to be. But, when we go through with faith and trust in our HP. Things seem to work themselves out. Working on this program is all a growth process. Seeing ourselves through eyes of others. Seeing who God wants us to be. Returning to our true selves. The constant search for answers that lie within us. Instead of on the outside. What a breakthrough. Realizing that we have the answers within ourselves to grow, learn and be our divine self.
One of my fears are gone my sister had her baby this afternoon both are safe and sound, i'm a first time Uncle, yeah I cried hope to see little Carmela soon maybe this weekend .
That sounds like a good plan Jenny we need to have these plans and tools for when these things come up and show there ugly heads. I have been praying alot lately I just stop sometimes and give a prayer of gratitude and know this will pass, I have to let it though and let go of the outcome of everything.
This evening I really had a sick feeling of disappointment come over me sorta started looking back over my life and thought about never having a child and leaving behind anything, no legacy of my own and not adding up to a dime but I realize i'm on the pity pot and I have it really good and have a good life even if everything isn't perfect and even if I dont get everything I expect to have i'll have still had a good life even with the bad times, thoughs times are over with anyhow and in the past have to make today and tomorrow the best I can.
it's a slow process and sometimes we try rushing things, I still haven't gotten my contractors license number, it takes time for these things and I dont even need it right now but I WANT IT NOW lol, see what i mean
I ALSO SENT AN eMEDAL FOR 6 MONTHS CLEAN TO YOU. HOPE YOU GOT IT, BIGV.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
hope to see little Carmela soon maybe this weekend .
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