FYI Dalin does not shit sunshine and the whole world does not agree with that,

 The folks who turn to him for help are just doing what we do in recovery. Its just one addict helping another nothing more nothing less. Thats how it's done.

Anyone we put on a pedistel is only going to crush us when they fall, and they will fall. We need to look at each other as equales no better no worse. We all had our bottoms if we start to compare them or our clean time it just seperates us from each other.

Dont let your brothers recovery intimidate you, hes just another recovering addict. If you really want to get clean you could embrace the experiance he has and take what you need and leave the rest behind.

Or you could just embrace us here at MIP and look to us for support, there are a lot of good people here that would love to help you through this trying time. Dont give up , you are worth it and you deserve a chance at a new way of life.

Praying for you to find peace and strength

just another recovering addict that hopes you find your way

Well, I will say this.  I thought the same thing of my best friend in Utah.  I started using before him.  But, it got worse with him.  I tried getting clean for the kids, for him, and for everyone else but me.  It does not work that way.

You have to find the strength and courage to let go of what you feel someone has done and take your responsiblity in the situation.  Was there a gun to your head....well.....I dont know the situation and cant judge.  And, maybe that was wrong to have asked.  But, no one can make anyone do anything.  I wanted to get high because of the way it made me feel.  And, the fact I wanted to hide from the life I have lived.  Sometimes a lonely place to be. 

But, it was not until I took responsiblity for my actions. And, I surrendered to my higher power completely.  We have a choice to use.  Some say we have an option, but when there are children involved there is really no option in my opinion.  We have God given choices to come back in from the fog and clouds.  Surrendering and accepting our lives as is.  And, then working on ourselves one day at a time.  We work through our higher power, through our sponsors, through our reading the literature and working the steps.

If you dont have a sponsor get one.  If you dont have a phone list of other addicts make one.  I am coming up on 90 days a week from Saturday.  Somedays it has been a struggle and that's is because I made it that way.  Some days its been a joy because my higher power gave me gifts beyond what I had hoped for.  I look at it this way.....I put 110% into my using so way not into my recovery.  Easier said than done.  Yes,  just start with the literature and meetings.  Get phone numbers and a sponsor and have faith that you can do this.  That is very important the faith in yourself and your higher power.  God Bless.  Keep Clean and Keep Smiling

Melissa M

Wooooo roadkill, can I relate to your pain.....

I can also give you my experience on what I have done to stay clean no matter what. For me, the first step is critical.... I can't stop using when I start, and my life is a complete shitstorm because of my using over the years. It may not always be a shitstorm, but I haven't seen much of what i want since I got clean 3 years ago. I've been to jail, mental wards, depressed, angry, pissed off, pissed on, had sunshine blown up my ass, pissed down my back and they told me it was rain, lost my father my first year clean, feel like I'm a complete failure, and so on and so on....

But somehow I haven't found the need to get high......

So looking back over the past 3 years, I see the one thing I made the effort to do was get involved with understanding what the 12 steps meant to me, and how i could use them to keep me clean....

I dont do it perfectly, I don't fully understand how in my first year i put forth the effort in the steps just to show eeveryone it didn't work, and have stayed clean since.

All I know for me is, the statements in just the first 8 pages of the basic text are true....

I never ever have to use again just for today, and the only person that can fuck THAT up is me.

I make a daily choice not to get high. I pray to a god I don't think cares on the daily that my life will improve. I guess my point is I aint perfect and no one else is either, and we all have to go through the helll to get to the good.....

I know for me I had to make that choice, that no matter what, I was done, and believe with all my exsitance that the first step was true. Without that, i can't ever stay clean.

Hang in there brio, got mad love for you.

Brett