i don't technically have the apartment...the landlord told me i could put down 50 dollars to keep it, which i gave 40...now she says i need 1/2 of the rent, and she is going through other applicants references...
to give her another day
my heart has sunk a little today
because i am in a transition house for women i am running out of time, we are only allowed a month or so there and my time is going over that if i stay till the 1st of january as it is.
i so thought i had it!!
i need it, i want it...but all is in our HP's hands
i know there are other apartments, i have wreckage from my past( what alkie/addict doesn't, i know...), in that i owe all my utilities a large sum of monies and power alone refuses to hook me up without first paying my bill....
anyways, i don't mean to whaa about it..ya know,,,the poor me thing...
i just really want ...and need...a pjlace to call my own that is affordable and locationable, which this one is sooo all of the above.
i know i've asked for prayers
please...
one more
god bless and thankyou
i feel sad today, lonely, lost...even though things are great in my life for early recovery, its all the reasons i used to use to use, that dang escape. Went to a big book study today at noon, couldn't get up the nerve to ask for a temp sponsor...i don't know, its like my emotions, my feelings are one step behind me...like i feel them after the fact, not sure how to explain it...kind of like i don't feel them when i have them...make'n any sense??? i'll go to another meeting tonight for sure, and practicing my breathing in ...and breathing out...and not picking up that drink in between there
Fists of all wendy these are the aches and pains of new sobriety, getting thru these small things are a big thing for us and your doing fine , just hang on and get thru it.
There are going to be dissapointments and its all about how you act them out or not act out, theres going to have to be alot of "turning it over" and walking thru the discomfort but you can do it .
I always try now not to set myself up for huge dissapointments, me having unrealistic EXPECTATIONS of everything in my life and wanting everything to go my way, also what I try to do is not put to much importance on THINGS in my life, not so much importance that they rule all my thoughts, I let my higher power make it happen for me I just do the footwork thats involved.
We love you and want you to make it so hang in there the team is cheering for you here.
HAve you thought about sharing , renting a room rather then a whole apartment? with sober people? just a thought it might be cheaper and easier to get into a place that way.
i'm sorry to hear that you might not get the place you were hoping for..stay strong, we're here for you , through the rough times and good times..thank you for sharing both with us.
when you get a place i have something i want to give you , so let me know when you do get settled. :)
you're very special to me . i want only the best for you , but to grow we sometimes have to experiance the not so great. keep coming back .and tonight i'll say a special prayer just for you... your friend in recovery and behond ..peggy
your friend in recovery and behond ..peggy
