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NA Message Board -> Narcotics Anonymous Message Board -> Taking off for the weekend BUT before I go all of you who are struggling
Post Info TOPIC: Taking off for the weekend BUT before I go all of you who are struggling
BigV


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Taking off for the weekend BUT before I go all of you who are struggling
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MUST READ THIS, I broke down crying when I read this this morning it's so so true.

This is where you will find truth what others share is so valuable. We all need something , some promiss that things will get better and we get that from each other and I can tell you honestly, I have struggled, hard real hard fighting and surrendering, letting go and grabbing ahold of , then one day the skys turn blue the fog lifts, theres a leap in your step joy in your heart, miracles and surprises and maybe you even start to feel love and loved again, oh and freedom from bondage that one really opens up everything.




November 17

Walking Through The Pain

"We never have to use again, no matter how we feel. All feelings will eventually pass."

Basic Text p. 79

It hurts like never before. You get out of bed after a sleepless night, talk to God, and still don't feel any better. "It will pass;" a little voice tells you. "When?" you wonder, as you pace and mutter and get on with your day.

You sob in your car and turn the radio all the way up so you can't hear your own thoughts. But you go straight to work, and don't even think about using drugs.

Your insides feel as though they've been torched. Just when the pain becomes unbearable, you go numb and silent. You go to a meeting and wish you were as happy as other members seem to be. But you don't relapse.

You cry some more and call your sponsor. You drive to a friend's house and don't even notice the beautiful scenery because your inner landscape is so bleak. You may not feel any better after visiting your friend-but at least you didn't visit the connection instead.

You listen to a Fifth Step. You share at a meeting. You look at the calendar and realize you've gotten through another day clean.





Then one day you wake up, look outside, and realize it's a beautiful day. The sun is shining. The sky is blue. You take a deep breath, smile again, and know that it really does pass.





Just for today: No matter how I feel today, I'll go on with my recovery.






pg. 335

-- Edited by BigV at 09:41, 2006-11-17

-- Edited by BigV at 09:47, 2006-11-17

-- Edited by BigV at 09:48, 2006-11-17

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BigV


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Have a good day stay on track everyone.

I am off to the mountain and streams to see the wonders of this planet, where the bears and dear even cougars live LOL yes i'm scared i'm always afraid but but now I have the power to get past all of that and enjoy life, hope all of you find the same thing here.

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peggy


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THank you bigV,


that was beautiful. gave me goosebumps...lol..but it so true.


i was there myself last month , where i was crying at everything. but i didn't use!!!


i found you guys instead. a MUCH better dession..and just as you said the tears just went away. and the days started looking brighter.


i was sitting here one day and i couldn't remember the last day i had cried , and i knew then that it had passed and i had made it through . clean .


thanks for being here everyone , you help me see the light at the end of the tunnel. keep coming back , i need you...hugs and loves peggy.



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Tahir


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BigV, thank you so much for that powerful message, and I need you too, Peggy. Thanks for sharing.


BigV, wish you great fun weekend. But I must admit that whenever you share what you are gonna do over the weekend, I so so wish I was also there. Wow, mountains and streams and bears and deers and fishing... What a perfect setting to unwind and meditate on the wonders of the universe...



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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting." Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
BigV


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Anytime Tahir you have time to swing a trip[ this way I have some true wonders to show you, especially Yosemite, its breath taking.

Peg I cry all the time, mostly from gratitude i'm just not used to having good things happen and have good feelings, and good people in my life, i cried on the way back home from my girls house I feel like my last relationships went so wrong and I made so many mistakes that I don't deserve this good person in my life but you know, I try not to question WHY, it's a higher power thing and she's a GIFT to me that I need to take care of and love, this time I really need to show my love and appreciation .

Ok I had a really nice time always sucks not being able to sit on the toilet that your used to though LOL

Caught a few nice trout yesterday morning I got up before sunrise and hit the Merced river just below Yosemite national park and landed these trout.



Just want to say I don't usually kill my fish I am mostly catch and release sportsman but this time it had been so long since I caught fresh trout these guys had to die LOL I ate one last night and they are just the best darn tasten fish around

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bignick


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Hey nice post Big V,i have recently just gone through the same thing,and guess what i found myself doing all those things you talked about,and guess what the same thing happened i to awoke one day and the sun was shinning on the inside once more. I am also off to see the wonders of this planet,going to Northern India to visit the Temples and Tibetan villages, may even get to meet the Dalai Lama, not bad for a hopeless junkie who couldnt even get far from the connection for 24yrs,Godbless anyone who takes this journey,recovery for me has become more than just not using,i have been given a new life,Thankyou NA,Most Gratefully yours,Big Nick

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Tahir


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BigV, thanks for sharing your feelings and also the pic of your catch. Maybe, one day you would in fact show me those wonders of nature, if my Higher Power wills so.


BigV, we might have done many undesirable things and been unfair to our relationships during active addiction, but that doesn't mean we are BAD persons. It's just that we were in the grip of a continuing and progressive illness then and were hence sick. It's not where we were that counts, but where we are going, the Basic Text says. Today, we are clean, and with the help of the program, we can become who we truly are...


If the Higher Power has placed love in your life today, it's because you deserve it. Follow your heart, my friend, always. I'm happy for you. And glad that we have you here. Your presence gives me lots of strength and hope.


Hugs, Love, Light ~ Tahir.



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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting." Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Tahir


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Big Nick, good to hear from you again. I also have desired for a long time now to visit the headquarters of Dalai Lama, Dharmashala... to feel the spiritual vibrations of the place and people there... However, I have been to some of the oldest monasteries around Sikkim and the footsteps of the great sacred mount Khangchendzonga a couple of times. Worth a visit. You just need to get a foreigner's permit to enter the state of Sikkim though. And NA there is awesome too. Check it out if you can. You have a great time, Big Nick. Hugs and Love.

-- Edited by Tahir at 14:25, 2006-11-20

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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting." Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
bignick


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Hello again Tahir,i already have a meetings list for where im going,and my friend who is already there is going to be my guide for the first part of the trip,which is in the North as you already know,will keep you posted as to my progress,love in fellowship, Big NICK

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BigV


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I would also love to see Tibet one interesting place would be where they do the sky burials i believe that is in Tibet ? I watched a documentary on this and found it astoundingly interesting.




If the Higher Power has placed love in your life today, it's because you deserve it. Follow your heart, my friend, always. I'm happy for you. And glad that we have you here. Your presence gives me lots of strength and hope.

Tahir he has and just when we thought everything was perfect a hitch has been thrown into the loop and it's thrown both of us sideways BUT we are going to get thru this together, I hope it draws us even closer . I really have had to grab hold of spiritual principles and believe that something good will come from this situation, one thing is i am not going to run from it or her.


Bignick I am glad you found your way back and enjoy the journey you are about to go on, take lots of pictures please

Lifes a journey bad and good end is the same but its how you lived that matters.


Heres a video I made for someone I met on youtube who had moved away from Mariposa a long time ago she saw another video I posted and asked me to get more for her so I made this for her, she loved it even cried she miss's her home up there in the hills.

VIDEO

-- Edited by BigV at 23:12, 2006-11-20

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peggy


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OH bigV thank you for sharing that video with us. i loved it.


that is how southern BC looks like. i think you would love it up here.


right now i'm far up north were the terane is much softer. not soring moutains . but a lot of snow...hehee.


ty Peggy



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