Thanks Dalin. That makes everything so simple for me, when I read that, I know who I am.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
And moreover, when I still had recurring doubts, or rather when my disease was trying to convince that maybe, I'm not an addict after all, in my initial recovery, I said this again and again to the committee in my head...
"I'd rather assume that I'm an addict and spend the rest of my life the NA Way than DIE trying to prove I'm not..."
That helped me a lot
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Our whole life and thinking was centered in drugs in one form or another--the getting and using and finding ways and means to get more. 
