Not to the NA program but to this board. Thanks for being here. I have been having a real hard time. I have 12 days. It is a hard earned couple of days as well. I have a sponsor and meetings that I go to regularly but I am still having a rough time. I know that people say it will get better but hearing it doesn't help much. I have been maintaining full time college by my fingernails. I am tired and I want a better life. This is why I am in college. But unless I can change my addict then I am doomed to repeat the pain of a terrible life. I am so used to lying that is hard to tell when I am not. All I know for sure is that if I continue as I have been I am going to fail again. I will not do it again. I have given up my future to many times already to the addict that lives in me. No more.
I am so glad you are here with us. 12 days wow!! those ARE the hard ones, when habit trys to overrule comon sense. breaking the habit is hard , just like breaking the habit of lieing before thinking is. it's not that i wanted to use or wanted to lie but habit almost turned into instinct for me.
i'm so proud of you for doing something to change the cycle. for wanting to change your life and taking the steps ( like going to colleage ) and working the program. the first couple weeks of quiting i was lucky to find matching socks, never mind classes...lol.
it's not easy at first but it IS worth it!!!!
a new life is at your door step. all you have to do is one day at a time. talk to your sponser and the guys here when things get too heavy or seem to be getting out of hand, we are all routing for you . this is a program of WE , we want to help each other for the good times and the bad ones.
keep coming back you have support here if you reach out, we'll be here...
Thanks Alot Peggy, My name is Eric. I put PhotoAddict because that I what I am in college for. It was the only thing I could think of at the time. I talk to my sponsor daily. He has alot of clean time. I can't imagine what it is like to have that much clean time or what my life will be like when I do. I was always afraid of looking into the future but now I am not. Lately I have been looking at it with some optimism. Even though I still see the dark clouds on the horizon I try not to let them bother me.
Hi Eric, Glad to see you here! I will not BS you, at times recovery is hard, addicts know how to use and we are seeking a new way to live...but recovery is easier than living the lifestyle of active addiction. The main thing is to remember to not quit before the miracle happens.
"When we discovered that we could not live with or without drugs, we sought help through N.A., rather than prolong our suffering. The program works a miracle in our lives. We become different people. Working the steps and maintaining abstinence give us a daily reprieve from our self-imposed life sentences. We become free to live." pg 9 Basic Text of Narcotics Anonymous (5th Edition)
"The ability to face problems is necessary to stay clean. If we had problems in the past, it is unlikely that simple abstinence will solve these problems. Guilt and worry can keep us from living in the here and now. Denial of our disease and other reservations keep us sick. Many of us feel that we cannot possibly have a happy life without drugs. We suffer from fear and insanity and feel that there is no escape from using. We may fear rejection from our friends if we get clean. These feelings are common to the addict seeking recovery. We could be suffering from an overly sensitive ego. Some of the most common excuses for using are loneliness, self-pity, and fear. Dishonesty, close-mindedness, and unwillingness are three of our greatest enemies. Self-obsession is the core of our disease." pg 44 Basic Text of Narcotics Anonymous (5th Edition)
Copyright 1982, 1984, 1987, 1988, 2000 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Hang on and work the steps....there are 40,000 meetings a week around the world filled with addicts finding a new way to live...and you can too.
Lon
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Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.----Alice Mackenzie Swaim
And Congratulations on the Big Awesome 12 Miracles. Way to go. It works. You are a proof.
Keep sharing with us. What we cannot bear alone, we can share with each other so that it is easier to bear that way...
Just For Today, we never have to use again...
I'm Tahir, in recovery for about 2 and a half years now, from India. This group and the wonderful members here have made my journey of daily recovery easier and continues to be a great source of strength and hope. I hope and pray that you find this place the same way too.
Hugs, Love, Light ~ Tahir.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
photoaddict wrote: Thanks Alot Peggy, My name is Eric. I put PhotoAddict because that I what I am in college for. It was the only thing I could think of at the time. I talk to my sponsor daily. He has alot of clean time. I can't imagine what it is like to have that much clean time or what my life will be like when I do. I was always afraid of looking into the future but now I am not. Lately I have been looking at it with some optimism. Even though I still see the dark clouds on the horizon I try not to let them bother me.
Stay clean for awhile and new horizons will open it won't all seem so dark, dreams start coming true things will happen that blow you away. Sure other things are going to come up and your going to get thru them without using and get past them with a new strength and determinations, just hang on to your seat for a bit....welcome Eric
