If you want what we have to offer, and are willing to make the effort to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps. These are the principles that made our recovery possible:

STEP 1 - "We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable."
To do my best to keep the disease at bay, I do the Do Things, and I create less unmanageability through that process. Less unmanageability is less pain, and it's worth it to follow those simple suggestions I get in the Rooms. I still need the "WE" of the program, even with plenty of clean time. I can't indulge in the attitude that "I can handle everything". My daily surrender to N.A. gives me the freedom not to have to use, Just For Today. When I practice not trying to take control of any aspect of my life, I let the program bring peace into my daily life, instead of repeating old mistakes.

STEP 2 - "We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."
Step two for me was really the beginning of open-mindedness. To begin seeing the coincidences and miracles of a power greater than myself. Realizing the possibility that this power could change the way I was living my life. I apply this Step by being conscious of my Hope, the Faith that has grown, and keeping perspective on Reality. When I see the changes in my sanity compared with my daily thinking from the past, I can't deny that a Power Greater than myself must be lending a big hand. My gratitude for that power serves as courage to keep moving further toward sanity.

STEP 3 - "We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."
Making a decision to surrender my will and my life to the care of GOD on a daily basis (more than once usually) helps me stay in conscious contact with my Higher Power. Checking my motives, applying spiritual principles to my actions and leaving the results to the care of GOD enriches the courage and faith I need.

STEP 4 - "We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."
TBA

STEP 5 - "We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."
By working this step, I got to see that my survival skills could be formed and shaped spiritually. I was no longer alone. Someone knew me and my history. By seeing the nature, or pattern, of my wrongs, ie: similar ways I interacted with bosses, girlfriends, friends, family,etc., I could begin to be aware of my side of the street. I can put away the "blame-thrower", and only then can change start to be possible. It becomes awareness then willingness to take responsibily and earn the changes to move forward in my recovery.

STEP 6 - "We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."
I have to look within to see which defects are holding me back, in any given situation, rather than blaming others or being held hostage by events and circumstances out of my control. These happen daily, and I learn to apply the opposite action of what the defects are. Revisiting the first 3 steps allow me to do this. If it's not practical it's not spiritual, as we say, and my defects are neither practical nor spiritual. When I admit this truly, rat out my defects and seek the solution, I become more ready to change and grow in a lasting way, without suffering confusion about my motives.

STEP 7 - "We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
Social acceptability and the illusion of self sufficiency can be deceptive to me with this step because I feel fine! I need to surrender and become humble by getting real and asking others for advice, or help. Admitting that I'm an addict and asking for my higher powers help certainly gets the process started. I have to pursue my recovery by truly learning my assets and liabilities everyday. Only when I become more humble and less judging can ask my higher power to remove my shortcomings, it's not about others, it's about me.

STEP 8 - "We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all."
I made a chart… The name of the person, the relationship with them, the nature of the harm, the character defect responsible, and whether I was ready to make amends yet or not. Then I learned to grieve, as well as sort through my responsibilities versus the responsibilities of others. Making amends is not about getting other people to admit whatever wrongs they may have done to me. For my peace of mind, I can only deal with my responsibilities.

STEP 9 - "We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."
In this step I had to become accountable, and face my responsibilities. I had to allow others the freedom to be who they were without my judgment or shame. If making an amends is dangerous, I need to seek guidance. If I fear the amends will not be accepted, they usually will, but the results are not up to me. They do not have to be accepted to be effective for this step. When I was using, I was a nasty piece of work! I was very angry. I would abuse anyone who was a target, usually those behind a counter at a store. I've been focusing on making living amends by being kind, considerate and tolerant. I want to treat people the way I want to be treated, with respect. This for me are indirect amends. I've often heard people say that the only amends they want is for me to not make the same mistake again. This is the way I can make peace with those that I cannot make a direct amends to.

STEP 10 - "We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."
Step 10 in my daily life is a check list I do every night as I lie in bed, the last chat of the day with my higher power. Reviewing my day and seeing how much was handled in a spiritual way and how much was Ego based allowed me to see where I needed to make a prompt amends but also reflect on the situations I handled successfully.  Like most addicts, I tend to focus only on what I did wrong and forget to acknowledge my successes. I ask for more patience and tolerance, pray for forgiveness, especially by forgiving myself and asking for guidance to do it better next time. If I don't intend to stay aware of my defects, they will be invisible to me, like they were in the past.

STEP 11 - "We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."
This is one of my favourite daily practices, an action step. When I pray to my higher power it is to ask for help or guidance. When I meditate I am listening for my higher power's messages; They always seem to find a way of coming to me when I am centered and at peace with myself and others. At the beginning of each day I thank God for waking me, and ask for guidance. Everything doesn't always go according to my plan, so it's necessary to have that conscious contact and pray having Gratitude and asking for patience.

STEP 12 - "Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."
The awakening I had in step 11, along with the principles from the rest of the steps, allow me to carry the message of recovery. I do it with newcomers, not because they are sick, but because I am sick, and it is part of the program. Carrying the message allows me to be more spiritual, and practicing the principles makes my life better. We can only keep what we have by giving it away. That is most true when practicing step 12 work, and it helps everyone involved, and those yet to come

-- Edited by dalin at 16:06, 2006-11-03