The problem of resolving fear has two aspects. We shall have to try for all the freedom from fear that is possible for us to attain. Then we shall need to find both the courage and the grace to deal constructively with whatever fears remain. c. 1967 AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 61 With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Fear is about the future ... ...itīs caused by an event taking place, that LOOKS like a previous event , in which bad things resulted .
then a resentment forms and a PROJECTION ( a defense mechanism by which your own traits and emotions are attributed to someone else takes place ); the mind believes it knows what will happen NEXT !
( My problem is I was never that good at foretelling the future , so I kinda really got bad results , anyway. )
The FEAR is a PRE-action to an event that has yet to occur ...
This can't be REAL , Things that are real cannot be changed with a thought , this can ... Feelings can be changed with a thought , Fear is a Feeling , Fear can't be real ...
But, by God, it sure feels like it.
Faith without works is dead
ergo: The treatment for Fear is Action, Done in Faith!
I was given an interesting movie from an NA member...it was called "What the bleep do we Know?"....
in this movie it explains how we as addicts, are not just addicted to our street drugs of choice, but the "drugs" our own brains produce that influance our emotions. it's incredible how our brains work!!
our brains are the most powerful pharmacy on the planet. creating cemicals that our bodies become addicted to... like fear, lust, victumization, anger, the list goes on and on...
what really caught my attention was that we can break the cycle! our thoughts , our emotions and our attiudes can be changed or altered, by breaking the chain of negitive thinking....
i now try to think possitive thoughts.... no longer do i say to myself " i'm ugly, stupid, i hate myself, i'm worthless etc".
now when the words "you idiot" slip past my lips i correct myself and say " no i'm not!!" i look in the mirror and tell myself " i like me! i'm a good person! i'm likeable!",i have worth!.
it's not always easy. at first i felt silly doing it. after 40 years of putting myself down my natural tendancies is to be negative. but when i catch myself , which i'm able to do more and more often , i feel better for it.
we recover one day at a time , one step at a time , one thought at a time. i wish you all another 24.....peggy
Serenity, which is the immunity to all addictions, is characterized by feelings of tranquility, gratitude, contentment, affection for others, and a deep inner peace.
When people are serene, they don't need to fulfill desires to feel complete. Addiction is the attempt to find completion in a substance or situation. In fact, completion can only be found within.
The feeling of serenity is innate (inborn). When we 'lose' serenity, the desire to regain it is innate as well. For some, that desire is heightened by adversity or physical and/or emotional problems. For others, the search represents curiosity about the deeper meaning of life. Throughout the brief history of addiction treatment, various leaders have stated that the antidote for addiction is serenity, a spiritual awakening, a changed level of consciousness.
Serenity is our birthright. It is as natural to us as breathing or digesting food. When we are in a state of physical health, those functions are balanced. In a healthy mental state, all our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors act in unison too. We experience harmonious interaction with our environment. One obvious result of serenity is mature, harmonious human relationships. When we feel serene, we are more open, honest, respectful, and loving. There is no need for defensiveness or blame. We can see and appreciate the positive characteristics of others. When others are feeling insecure and behaving negatively, we can respond with compassion and patience. We feel no need to control them so that we can feel good. Above all, we see the best in others, not the worst. Serenity fosters learning, insecurity or fear hinders it. A state of serenity increases our ability to listen, learn, and create. The tranquil mind is an open channel of perception and insight - spurred by curiosity, unobstructed by past beliefs, attitudes, limitations and prejudices. When we are serene, we are excited and motivated to contribute. Work is more of a joy. We are more productive with less effort, more free of stress and able to see positive solutions to problems. Our minds and bodies are inseparable. Modern medicine shows a relationship between state of mind and the body's immune system, growth and development, physical attractiveness and organ function. When we are in a positive mental state, we get sick less often and heal more quickly. When we are serene, we can more easily realize the full potential of our talents and relationships. Fully living in the present - not the past or the future - we are no longer plagued by guilt, resentment and fears. Serenity lets us access our wisdom. We see life objectively and gain more freedom of choice. Clearly, serenity has many benefits. But if our sole purpose for pursuing it is to gain these benefits, then we have put the cart before the horse. Serenity comes first, above all other things. Our quest must take a turn away from the illusion that external events create our happiness. The source is deep within, and that is where our focus must be.
Thanks Peggy. That was some great insight and a good way to look at fear...
For me, the only way I overcome worry, anxiety and fear in my daily life today is by admitting that I'm powerless over my fear, these constant thoughts of worry and prediction of doom and failure, and if I try to exert control over these feelings of anxiety and fear, my situation would become more unmanageable.
Then open my mind that there is a loving Higher Power who could protect me, be with me, guide me thru the situation or the incident that I dread, and that whatever happens as a consequence, be it a success and happy end or failure and a seeming disaster, my Higher Power has a loving, caring and compassionate intention for me behind it, and that my Higher Power cannot give me what I cannot handle, and that my Higher Power knows what is best for me, what I need to experience...
And finally trust this loving, caring and compassionate Higher Power and turn myself, my thoughts of worry, anxiety and fear, the whole situation and its outcome and the people involved and my feelings toward them, all over to my Higher Power... thus ready to face the outcome whatever that might be, joy or pain, in the same way, as a gift from my Higher Power, an opportunity for me to learn and grow, assured that my Higher Power, not me, is the source of all my strength that I would need to cope and face the outcome.
This was hard to practice in the beginning as an exercise of combining all the first three steps when given as a practical assignment by my first sponsor, taking at least one instance from my day, everyday...
Later, when good things happened as a result of applying these tools of Steps 1, 2 and 3, I was overjoyed and felt that the miracles of the steps have started to happen in my life...
Then came instances where the outcome was not the way I would have wanted... I only could see downright bad things happening and could not comprehend the fact that these steps did not do the magic they must have done. Slowly with the help of my Sponsor and then realizing later why things happened the way they did and what good has come out of it, did I realize the fact that whatever the outcome of applying the steps, there is only growth. It's advantageous to look at life and the happenings thru the eyes of the steps... as a result of doing so, I was able to stay calm even in the middle of storms many times...
Even today, I sometimes struggle to admit my powerlessness over something, don't even want to open my mind to a Power greater than me, play see-saw with my surrender, but even those instances have been rewarding for me to see what kind of reluctance springs inside me when I try to apply the program, in what ways does my addiction manifest... and I still end up learning from those mistakes...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Wow, thanks for sharing all that wisdom here with us, Peggy. Some great stuff about serenity... and yes, it never ceases to amaze me too, the cosmic dance of our neurochemicals inside our brain...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
I can really understand that part about being 'addicted' to fear. It is the same reason that many combat vets volunteer for a second and third tour of duty in dangerous areas..why people take on jobs that have a lot of pressure to them like reporters with their rushed deadlines, and why even as an addict, part of the 'rush' seemed (for me at least) to come not just from the getting and using drugs, but from the 'living on the edge' lifestyle that came with it..the constant risk of getting caught, which terrified me and yet was something it seemed like I was hooked on as much as the drugs.
Now that the drugs are out of my body, I realize that I still have a pretty messed up me to deal with, and am trying to do that. I realize that the nightmares and flashbacks I have may never go away, but I don't need to use them as an excuse to pick up that first drug today. Just for Today, I can be clean..day 45.
CONGRATULATIONS ON THE BIG AND AWESOME 45 MIRACLES, JESSME. YOU ROCK. WAY TO GO. INDEED IT REALLY WORKS. YOU ARE THE PROOF.
PRAYERS, BEST WISHES AND WARM REGARDS ~ TAHIR.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
I learned recently that without pain there is no pain, and oh how our dear Lord has tested me because I am co-dependent and I have gotten my living situation to where it is me and my two babies. Oh, it is so hard to conqur that fear. I just want to hide under a blanket on my couch.
Jkee, keep the faith. We never have to forget that there is a Higher Power who loves us and will always be with us, come hell or high water, to carry us through. My Higher Power cannot give me more than what I can handle. If I'm exposed to hardship or adversity in my life, I'm sure that my Higher Power will also provide me with the strength and the resources to cope with it. It does get better. We never have to be alone ever again. Through sharing and caring with each other, Together We Can! I will have you and your loved ones in my prayers tonight.
Hugs, Love, Light ~ Tahir.
-- Edited by Tahir at 17:10, 2006-10-23
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
i agree with you on the part about the "high" we got from the kaous we created during our using days.
i almost think that for me anyways, it was an "out" to not have to face what i was doing to myself. like my friend beating on his girlfriend in front of me.. and my sick mind saying i'm here to help her, as i'm getting so stoned i couldn't even see straight...lol...sick , sick, sick...i was so caught up in the moment of whatever drama was unfolding i didn't have to face the fact that i was causing myself to be involed in these sick senario's.
even though i hated feeling the anguous, they made me feel alive. over charged, there was always something was happening...
i hated it but kept going back.
now that i'm clean for a while i am SOOO grateful that those days are past. but i must be thankful for them too, because without them i would never or said "enough". and finally went looking for help, so here i sit , much more content, serene and trust me there is enough drama in living a straight life that i don't miss the kaous from before...lol...take care ...sorry for rambling......glad your here and awsome on your 45....
I can really understand that part about being 'addicted' to fear. It is the same reason that many combat vets volunteer for a second and third tour of duty in dangerous areas..why people take on jobs that have a lot of pressure to them like reporters with their rushed deadlines, and why even as an addict, part of the 'rush' seemed (for me at least) to come not just from the getting and using drugs, but from the 'living on the edge' lifestyle that came with it..the constant risk of getting caught, which terrified me and yet was something it seemed like I was hooked on as much as the drugs.
Now that the drugs are out of my body, I realize that I still have a pretty messed up me to deal with, and am trying to do that. I realize that the nightmares and flashbacks I have may never go away, but I don't need to use them as an excuse to pick up that first drug today. Just for Today, I can be clean..day 45.
At one time I was addicted to robbery , no kidding the high was like winning the lottery , and everytime I put my life on the line. One time I was even shot at while driving away , one bullet went inot the tailgate of the truck I was in but didn't pierce the cab that didn't stop me .
Thanks peggy,I've only been sober for a short time and right now i live every day in fear.. Maybe knowing i can take more control over the situation will help.
i've only been clean a short time too and i know too found it very fearful. i didn't know myself anylonger. i didn't feel like i fit in the "real" world either... it was a very frightening and confusing time...the only thing i did know was that i didn't want to live like that again .
that's when i walked into my first NA meeting and just poured out all my bottled up anqsitities to the guys...
and for the first time ever i felt like i finally met people just like me, who understood exactly where i'd come from and where i hoped to become....it was scary but awsome...
i'm so glad you found us, jenn,
it truely gets better, i really does , the fear lessens, you become stronger and surer of the path you're following , i can't express how much better my life has been in the last 5 months...
there's an NA meeting starting in a couple of minutes here on MIP so i got to wrap this up ..see you soon ...your friend in recovery.....peggy
Welcome to Miracles In Progress Group of NA. Keep sharing with us. And yes, congratulations on your sobriety. Keep the miracle alive. Hugs and Love from a recovering addict called Tahir.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
