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NA Message Board -> Narcotics Anonymous Message Board -> sponsorship
Post Info TOPIC: sponsorship
dalin


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sponsorship
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Sponsorship is the



Sponsorship is a form of service based on mutual trust & respect. With these principles as a foundation a wonderful relationship is possible, truly making it a two-way street. A sponsor is just another addict with more experience in recovery, who is willing to take the time to help others in theirs. We find someone we can relate to and ask them to sponsor us. To use a sponsor we call them, we talk to them about what's going on in our lives, and we listen to their suggestions. We learn to listen. When asked to listen, all that's ask is that we hear. Sponsors aren't marriage counselors, money-lenders, babysitters, authority figures, Gods or Gurus. A sponsor can't tell us what is best for us, we have our own world in which we must live. They can't fix us, or convince us of the necessity to choose the uncertainty of change over the safe misery of staying the same. A sponsors' purpose isn't to co-sign bullshit, help us stay in limbo, or take care of our responsibilities. If others do for us, what we need to do for ourselves, they contribute to our fear and weakness. They can't take away our loneliness, or pain, or grow for us. A sponsor can help us become less self-centered, more accepting of ourselves and others, and help us understand what we are feeling. Then the answers are obvious. Our sponsor is mainly a guide through the steps, who we look to for direction.






Anytime we are asked to sponsor an addict we need to remember this is a privilege and with privilege comes responsibility. We don't just share our experience, strength and hope, we make a commitment to share our time and attention. We ask questions, we listen, we get to know each other. We must be careful that sponsoring doesn't become a dis-service. If we tell someone what to do, we haven't done as asked. If we tell them they shouldn't feel something, we're trampling feelings. If we solve their problem, we've failed, as strange as that seems. As a sponsor we give of ourselves. If we are unable or unwilling to do this, we need to say so, and direct addicts to someone who is. If a sponsee is struggling with something that we personally have no experience with, we listen and if possible, direct them to an addict who does have that experience. A sponsor hangs in there as long as they believe that a sponsee is willing to grow, but we must grow for ourselves. If a sponsor begins to care out of pity or to lose faith in a sponsee, they inhibit the growth of the sponsee and of themselves. You can't expect someone to see eye to eye with you when you're looking down on them.






God, in His wisdom, selected a group of men and women to be carriers of a message. He went not to the proud, the mighty, the famous or the brilliant to find messengers. But, instead to the humbled, the sick, the unfortunate, he went right to the addict. As if God were saying; "Into your hands alone, I entrust this power beyond estimate."

God selected Us to be carriers of a message, that which has been denied all others'. Not scientists or statesmen, fathers or mothers, not even doctors or priests, have been given this gift to heal other addicts, which We are entrusted with. It must be used unselfishly; and carries with it responsibility. No day can be too long; no demand on our time too hard; no case too hopeless; no effort too great. It must be used with tolerance for it isn't restricted to any race, creed, sex or denomination. Personal criticism we can expect; lack of appreciation will be common; and our motives will be misjudged. We must be prepared for adversity, but this adversity can help us to grow spiritually. If our efforts are successful, we mustn't ascribe it to personal superiority, but always remember that it is a gift.

If God wanted learned men to have this power it would've been entrusted to the physician and scientist. If God wanted eloquent men, there would've been many anxious for the task, for talk is the easiest to use of all the talents with which mankind has been endowed. If God wanted scholarly men, the world is filled with those better qualified who would've been available. We weren't chosen because of exceptional talents. We were chosen because we've been the outcast of the world. Our personal experience has made or should make us alert to the cries for help from the lonely desperate hearts of addicts everywhere.



Author Unknown

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dalin a unity means oneity...one god, one fellowship,one sponsor,one program...many gifts
Tahir


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BEAUTIFUL, DALIN, THANKS. I'M GONNA PASS THIS ON TO ALL WHOM I KNOW...

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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting." Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
dalin


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it has been around for years.


thought i would post it



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dalin a unity means oneity...one god, one fellowship,one sponsor,one program...many gifts
peggy


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thank you dalin, i've never heard sponsorship explained like that before. that answers one of my questions. but can someone give me a heads up on where i should look for one.


 


hi guys , about 12 steps. although i've been going to na ans aa meeting for the past 4 months , i still haven't started any steps although i do have the step books. i'd like to start them, but a friend in NA suggested i get a sponser first , because even the first step could be heavy...intense , etc.



how do i get a sponser and what does one really do for a person. i've heard of people being in the program for years and still not have one...



my problem is that the few girl na members that show up are too flighty to rely on and the others are too busy , there are a couple i could try in AA but i don't think they would understand the kaous us addicts go through like sleep depravaton and the constant "High" .



should i settle for an AA sponser or should i just wait on the steps and NA sponser until one shows up. how about a guy sponser??? i hear that's not the best way of doing it either....



questions , questions , questions..



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dalin


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try my girlfreind at


moecar@sympatico.ca


at least it is another clean na member.


there are other na members around to........we can,recovery rabbit etc


just a temp sponsor is better than no sponsor.


the deal is just getting to know them.


other fellowships work the steps completely diferantly than na does.


so just get to know these woman then you can choose.



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dalin a unity means oneity...one god, one fellowship,one sponsor,one program...many gifts
jessme


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I live in a rural community, and there aren't a lot of meetings nearby, plus I draw disability for agoraphobia (among other things), which makes it difficult for me to leave the house at times. I would like a 'temporary' sponsor online at this site if possible, one who understands the issues one has to deal with as a 'dual diagnosis' person, who does need to take medication, but only takes it as prescribed. I used to go to a lot of meetings in my past, and even got up to over a year clean after bouncing out on a binge relapse after six to nine months at a time..but after my last relapse, just stayed out there for about seven years, because I kidded myself that I could 'just drink'...and I got so depressed I realized that my drinking was the only thing makingmy life worth living, and if I stopped I would kill myself as I had been depressed for a long time. So I had a choice to make..to keep drinking, and kill myself slowly, to just go ahead and kill myself quickly and get it over with, or to get some help.


I chose the last option, and checked myself into a VA nuthut, and was there for almost two weeks. I was honest with them about my drinking, and about how long I had been depressed, and haven't used since I got out and have 44 days clean today. Just one second at a time for me. I am no longer suicidal, and no longer need to use alcohol, my first drug of choice, to keep me from being that way. I am still depressed, but I can see progress.


I would really like my sponsor to be an online one because that way if I am too afraid to leave the house and my agoraphobia kicks in (because it doesn't stay with me ALL the time, just sometimes, and there is no rhyme or reason to it), I can still get some guidance and direction.


I will say that I have worked the steps with sponsors before, and it always went to 1-2-3, begin step four, then take myself back out. I want to stop that pattern, and when a sponsor says I am ready, even if it is the most painful thing I do in my life, nothing can be more painful than the secrets I have had to live with inside that have damn near destroyed me.


I am sorry if I hijacked the thread or derailed it or whatever, and didn't mean to ramble, but if anyone wants to be my sponsor, my email addy is medicvet66@aol.com. Thank you.



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Tahir


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peggy wrote:


but a friend in NA suggested i get a sponser first , because even the first step could be heavy...intense , etc.


my problem is that the few girl na members that show up are too flighty to rely on and the others are too busy


should i settle for an AA sponser or should i just wait on the steps and NA sponser until one shows up. how about a guy sponser??? i hear that's not the best way of doing it either....





Greetings Peggy, there is a suggestion regarding sponsorship given in our literature that we can work our steps in many ways, but not alone... But, even that, there are some members I know who are doing that and expressing that it has helped... However, I have tried it umpteen times without success... for me, it just did not work...


I first came to NA in 1999. And it took me 5 years in NA to eventually manage to stay stopped till this day only from 2004. My last relapse was when I was 7 months clean, and that was the third time I had made 6 months clean. Before my last relapse, I was doing everything as suggested. Making a meeting everyday without fail, reading literature constantly, getting involved in the group service, fellowshipping with oldtimers almost 24/7, working on a job with passion for the first time, doing well in my relationships at home... Still I managed to relapse.


When I stopped using after a couple of days and wondered what the hell went wrong, and how could I end up picking drugs again when I was doing everything right in NA, I found only one thing missing in my recovery ~ I DID NOT HAVE A SPONSOR AND WAS NOT WORKING THE STEPS. I'm grateful for this realization and that relapse that made this most powerful tools, the core of our program, available in my life today. I never had to use again as yet...


For me, staying clean alone is NOT recovery. Recovery begins when I have stopped using and am staying clean... that is when my journey began... I had to let go of my addictive self to change... my old ideas, attitudes and perceptions had to go... they had to be replaced with new ones... If I don't change, I have no chance at recovery... I need to grow by working the program in my daily life... Only that way can I arrest the progression of my disease which manifests not only thru physical use of drugs, but also mentally and emotionally, socially and spiritually... in fact, these manifestations of my disease is what takes me back to using again and again...


And to bring about this change and to recover, I found ony the Twelve Steps as the solution. And to learn and live these steps in my recovery, I need a Sponsor who has been there and who is living the program (the steps) and have found this new way of life. The steps I practice today work for me because they worked for my sponsor and for my sponsor's sponsor and so on... That is how they have been passed on... and they work for my sponsees too today and for their sponsees too...


If not for my relapses, I would have had a cleantime of more than 5 years now, not a couple of years, but I wouldn't have wanted it that way... I wouldn't have picked up a Sponsor... I wouldn't have worked the steps... I wouldn't have got what I have got and continue to receive as a result of the miracle of living these steps in my daily life...


All we need is a desire to work the steps. When I looked for a Sponsor who can guide me thru the steps, I could find none as I was the first one to work the steps in my hometown fellowship. I still sought, in AA, thru step working groups with like-minded other members, and also online...


In fact, my first sponsor was a "she" and was from another country. My current sponsor is an online one. I haven't met him face-to-face ever and probably might not too, but it works for me... I continue to work the steps with him today... Both my first sponsor and the current one have been the guiding lights in my recovery. They did not work the program for me, but they did passed on the program to me so that I can work them and reap the rewards, just like they do...


I can also forward you the link to this online sponsorship site where I found my sponsor if you could PM me here or mail me at polartorch@yahoo.co.in


There are many awesome sponsors available at this site, both male and female, who can guide you thru the steps...


Also, JESSME, you too feel free to PM or mail me if you are interested...


All the best in both of your endeavors to find a Sponsor and work the steps... It's worth it... You will be glad you took the effort...


Prayers, Hugs and Love ~ Tahir.



__________________
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting." Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Tahir


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AND YES, JESSME, WELCOME TO MIRACLES IN PROGRESS. GLAD WE FOUND EACH OTHER. KEEP SHARING WITH US. I'M TAHIR, FROM INDIA, OVER 2 YEARS AND 5 MONTHS CLEAN NOW. I'M ALSO A SOCIAL PHOBIC, CHRONIC SOMETIMES. I HATE TO GET OUT OF MY PLACE, EVERYDAY, TO SHOW UP FOR THE DAY AND TO FACE THE MAGNANIMITY OF CROWDS, NOISE AND HEAT OUTSIDE. SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME SOMETIMES, TO SUCH AN EXTENT THAT I END UP HAVING THIS GHASTLY PANIC ATTACKS. MIRACULOUSLY I SEEM TO BE HEALING NOW. I HAVE STARTED TRYING OUT SOME PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONS, BREATHING AND RELAXATION TECHNIQUES, AND MANY MORE TOOLS SUGGESTED BY ONLINE NA MEMBERS... THEY ARE WORKING FOR ME... ALSO MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE, I INVITE MY LOVING HIGHER POWER TO BE WITH ME AND TO BE THE SOURCE OF MY STRENGTH IN MY DAILY LIFE THRU THE SECOND, THIRD, SIXTH, SEVENTH AND THE ELEVENTH STEPS. THAT WORKS EVEN BETTER THAN ANYTHING ELSE.


HUGS, LOVE, LIGHT ~ TAHIR.



-- Edited by Tahir at 14:56, 2006-10-20

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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting." Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
dalin


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Posts: 616
Date:
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i have settled in the past from outside sponsors........


but it didnt work for me.


they truly tried to help.


i have a disease that wants me dead.


the o.f. is great at what it is there for.


liquid dope was not my problem.


addicts have there own language.we haveour own way of dealing with our emotions,our feelings.


the last aa meeting i want to,i had to see that my way of thinking and acting did not mix with theres.when i violate there third tradition,and polute there fellowship with my addictway of thinking,then i violate there anonymity.


they want a pure aa meeting,just like i want a pure na meeting.


they both FEEL diferant


so i do na,with a set of steps written for an addict


the first year i had to do what i could to stay clean


i made 2 aa meetings in the last eight years,when i had no other meetings


i respect them.


but there meetings are for them.



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dalin a unity means oneity...one god, one fellowship,one sponsor,one program...many gifts
dalin


Senior Member

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Posts: 616
Date:
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its like trying to get orange juice from an apple.


i respect other fellowships.there first step wasnt written for me.


ours was.so i only do na.


 



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dalin a unity means oneity...one god, one fellowship,one sponsor,one program...many gifts
dalin


Senior Member

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Posts: 616
Date:
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i am glad we are in the computer age.


recovery is here



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dalin a unity means oneity...one god, one fellowship,one sponsor,one program...many gifts
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