Hi guys , i just wanted to thank you all for welcoming me to your site. i down loaded that acticale, will share it with some of my guys at my na group.
in the last few days people have been calling me to see how i was doing . even though i didn't answer i felt good knowing that people thinking about me.
i finally started talking to a few of them today, one was in the hospital so i visited her, and then called another that's been trying to get a hold of me....
he told me the most amazing thing....
remember my mentioning that i was having a hard time finding my place in the AA meetings here because most were closed meetings and i didn't want to lie to them and say i was one just so i could get the benifet of there wisdom.
i think what started my crying was when one of the old timers was talking at the meeting saying that he didn't want to hear about other addictions only drinking ones. how he didn't want to hear about feelings, stuff like that.
i guess it just hit me hard because i must of started feeling that i didn't fit in . after finding for the first time in my life that i had found someplace where i did fit in and was excepted for who i was and that i was part of something for once. i was always respectful and kept my sharing nutural not mentioning drugs or saying i was an addict.
anyways this friend i talked to tonight said that at the monday night meeting of AA ,(where i first broke down crying),there were about 26 people there that alone is amazing for this small town, but it was agreed that the blue card has been thrown away, no more will they say that this is a closed meeting of AA and to keep all the topic's only to how they relate to alcholizism...
who would of thunk i would have that kind of impact on a group of people....very humbling.
people do care , i sound like sally fields..." you like me, you really like me " ....lol....anyways tomorrow i'm going to go to my na meeting and see how it goes. i'll just make sure i sit close to a door for easy escaping if i'm still a blithering water pot....
Thanks for sharing with us. Glad to hear from you again. Amazing how your tears have brought about a change in so many others at the meeting...
All the best on your making a NA meeting. And yes, with the AA meetings and someone not wanting to hear about other drugs, TAKE WHAT YOU WANT AND LEAVE THE REST. It's wonderful that you could still identify with the aspects of the disease and the principles of recovery which are the same be it AA or NA in many ways...
Moreover, after reading a particular NA Bulletin, I have realized how important it is for us at our NA meetings to maintain the atmosphere of identification and how it can get diluted for a newcomer and also for all members... So in one way, what they say there at AA is true, and the same applies at NA too... but the way this person seems to have expressed it might have been in a unhealthy way. But then, we have to accept the fact that some of us are sicker than us, and no matter how long we are clean, we still have a disease that is progessive and incurable to cope with...
Anyway, sorry about the ramble. Peggy, hope you have a wonderful NA meeting, and also the awesome warmth of the fellowship which you so truly deserve, both here and everywhere you go.
Hugs, Love, Light ~ Tahir.
-- Edited by Tahir at 14:23, 2006-10-18
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Peggy, you come across to me as an individual that really wants recovery. I too went to AA meetings instead of NA, I felt uncomfortable there as I am not an alcoholic, I am an addict. I first went to AA because a friend was willing to bring me. I could not do it alone. Luckily enough I found another friend working the NA program. All I can say is thank God for addicts. I now am working the NA program. I attend NA meetings every night of the week.
Peggy if there is any advice I can give you it is this. I attend NA every night, I have found myself a sponsor, in which I an brutally honest with, I have started working my steps and I have committed myself to service work. If you are living a busy lifestyle and cannot fit service work into your schedule just know that something as simple as joining a home group is considered service work. And where I come from there are not enough women joining home groups. You might ask, "how is joining a home group", well when you commit to a home group you help with setting up chairs and tables, you place literiture on tables and you can help with making coffee. Peggy this is what works for me.
Peggy good luck in your recovery and I truly wish you all the best, Take care of yourself and have a great 24.
When i began recovery,,, there was no NA here,,, i went to AA !!!
There I met people who had a problem with alcohol as i had with drugs !!!
But that was it,,, choice of drugs was different,,, lifestyles were diferent and most of all I craved to be in a room full of addicts in recovery !!!
You know i once innocently said "DRUGS" in my sharing and then thats it,,, all hell broke loose with the majority of em being very angry that i was a drug addict in their meetings and how because of me alcoholics seeking recovery may stay away !!
I played for time,, read our NA Basic Text and joined the Loners Group.
We had an NA publication called Meeting BY Mail and it has about a 1000 or so members all over the world !!
So Meeting By Mail and Loner group became my first NA meeting and NA Group !!!
And in those days all we had was snail mail and thats what i did and many members from over the world wrote to me too !!!
Phone calls were too costly then,,, so getting a letter or sending one to these faraway addicts became the high point of my day !!!
Meanwhile in AA i had become the centre of attention for days on end,,,i feel there was too much of a gap for us to truly understand each other !!
Lucky for me that other addicts too began coming to AA to seek recovery and when we saw some addicts reject AA because they couldnt identify with the alcoholic in AA,, we decided we needed our own meetings !!
And thats how NA started in our area,, its been an exiting,mystical journey for me....
Im glad i now have an NA meeting each day to goto !!!
Thank God and all the recovering addicts here for that !!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I can relate as my first journey of the desire to stop using began from these AA meetings. In fact, my first 12 Step meeting was in AA. At that time, I did not know that NA too existed. I became a home group member at this group too, in my hometown. This group was perhaps the first AA group in our region, founded by guess who, a hardcore junkie, an addict...
Since he was an addict, he was very loving and caring with me, and encouraged me to make these AA meetings. Not only him, but many other AA members were very caring with me, spent hours with me, day in and day out, trying their best to somehow help me stay clean...
Then this AA member, the founder of AA in my hometown, one day, presented me with Basic Text ~ The Baby Blue version, some important and introductory NA IPs and guided me gently to make NA meetings too apart from AA... I'm grateful that he gave me the message of NA and made me aware that NA meetings exist too in my hometown. In fact, he was instrumental in helping out many oldtimers of NA thru this AA group and helped them to start NA in my hometown too... He ran into trouble with other AA groups for this reason alone to the extent that they threatened to ban his group as Non-AA group from the Area Service Committee. But he did not stop even then. He continued to welcome addicts at his AA meetings and identified himself as both an alcoholic and an addict at these meetings...
There was something amazing and magical in this person... the day I met him, I knew that if I continue to open my mind and believe what he shares with me, I can also stay clean one day... Today, he is far away, settled in USA, but still does not forget to mail me occasionally...
I still haven't found a parallel to his unconditional love and passion to work with suffering alcoholics and addicts ~ 24/7... He was my first hope, and also for hundreds of addicts and alcoholics in my hometown...
Felt like sharing... Thanks, Raman, for reminding me about him and the roots from where I was born again...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Right on Peggy you had an impact on that group and thats a good thing, I know it's a no no to mention drugs in an AA meeting but trust me many of those people used drugs also with there drinking few will admitt it becasue it wasn't there "Drug of choice". '
The founder of AA Bill W. used drugs too ....AHEM ............Dr. Bob probably took a few of his own scripts too LOL
Oh yeah, let me share about my baby blue and what happened... at that time, I did not realize that it's a Baby Blue and that there was any difference between it and the BT version and since I was only few days clean then, I saw a hardbound BT with another of my using friends, and exchanged my baby blue for it...
Today, I regret having parted with that Baby Blue. I tried hard to track down that using friend to see if he still has my Baby Blue, but heard that he has been in hospitalization from more than a year now for his Schizophrenia problem and has misplaced my Baby Blue in the process...
I am also trying to get a Baby Blue again from one of the members from the NA History Forum lately without any success... Hope would get my hands on one...
yeah, I am also researching on the Baby Blue history and have learnt a lot thru the archives in various NA sites... sure must have been turbulent times back then... Hope and pray that we NA as a whole continue to learn from those experiences and change for the better...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Tahir,,, as far as i know,, the NAWS guys were giving out small little Baisc Texts that came with a magnifying glass to read !! Is this the one you are referring to ??
No Raman, not those... Yeah, they are cute, and I'm gonna get one of those pocket-sized ones from NAWS soon...
But Baby Blue was an edition brought out by many NA members on their own when there was a dispute between these members and the WSO, I guess. Members on the NA History Forum where I am a member too say that this Baby Blue version (the 2nd Edition) was the only Group conscienced BT, and there was something changed in the BT from the 3rd Edition onwards without a group conscience, something like that...
Later the court ordered that Baby Blues must not go in print, and that the BT can only be published and distributed by WSO as they had the sole rights as representatives of NA as a whole...
I have just got into exploring NA history lately, and it is interesting to study and research on... I have archived all this stuff... the interview with Bob Stone, Transcripts from the History Workshops, The court case, the minutes of some crucial service meetings that involved this conflict... and many more aspects of Baby Blue like the line that was taken out of BT from the 3rd Edition onwards... that goes "All else is not NA"... even though I'm yet to understand the implications of that line fully... Maybe, Dalin, you can throw some light on this... or maybe, there are some big oldtime lurkers here on this forum, who have wisdom and knowledge on these issues and can share with us...
I'm lookin' forward to a book on NA History that just records the facts as they transpired, without bias or loyalty, from a neurtal perspective, just as it is... There is one, but then again, it is by Bob Stone, who, even though was the chief at WSO then, many have said to me that he was a non-addict, and that I must hear an addict's version, even though I don't think that makes any difference... I have even emailed one of the members who attended the latest History & Traditions Workshop asking for a copy of the History CD that they have compiled using all the resources and archives brought there by individual members, and am waiting to recieve it...
I feel, as a NA member, I must know the history and origin of this great miracle that gave me a rebirth, and also I have generally been a History enthusiast even from a young age before I started using... I go crazy on anything to do with history, anthropology and theology.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
