I was talking to a friend from the meetings this morning, and he said that a lady that came to the meeting last night, who was having a real hard time (and on her 5th day)was told to leave the meeting because she had her daughter with her. I thought that sounded awful cruel, if that were me, it could be the thing that pushed me over the edge, to actually get the nerve to go to the meeting and then be kicked out. He said that some members stayed around a couple hours after and talked about how they thought it was wrong, but why didn't someone stick up for her? what do you guys think? I know that here at home, there's a lady that brings her kids cause she has not sitter...noone minds. I guess there's alot more meetings where he lives (about 40 miles away) and he says there are a few that are like that, I don't want to go to those ones!
Several people brought up bringing there kids to meetins and it was sorta made into a joke. The kids sit and do there school work at candle light meetings but hey there used to that anyhow having the power shut off at home all the time LOL
Another guy said he brought his son all the time for years and his son said he'd never be a drug addict cause he hated those meetings his dad had to go to LOL.
Closed meeting is a closed meeting, only addicts are allowed maybe that was a closed meeting and they abide strictly to the rules. The gal is going to have to learn to do life on lifes terms we have to face ANYTHING and not use it as a reason to get loaded, otherwise we never stay clean.
Someone at a meeting I was at really got me thinking about sobriety , he said when we get sober we make our sobriety more important then anything else in our lives NO MATTER WHAT COMES AT US, death, loss's, dissapointments etc. people get thru all sorts of situations that are tough real tough, the toughest things imaginable, we just have to keep using the principles of the program when these things arise and they will arise in time.
Adriana, I am disgusted. You know from my experience we are brought up on what we know. I can only speak for myself, but I am sure others will agree with what I have to say. Children growing up today are so knowledgeable, they are like sponges, they absorb alot. Sometimes I think we take children for granted. If this child is old enough to realize what was going on around them then chances are they will grow up to be an addict as well, and maybe not. Maybe they would choose a different path but why take the chance. Obviously if this lady was bringing her child to a meeting then she wants real recovery and who are we to turn her away. Not only might have we been able to save one adict we may have been able to prevent one as well. I agree with you in saying that this may have sent you back to old habits, lets hope she remained strong for both herself and her child. Anyways lets keep her in our prayers and I sure do hope you have another oppurtunity to see her. Take care and have a good 24.
Hi Shelia, While Big V does have a point about closed meetings...here children are welcomed at meetings. There are two womans meetings that offer childcare during the meeting. All the women who can afford to do so pitch in to pay for the sitter.
A few quiet toys in the groups box might not be a bad thing..to keep visiting children entertained. There is a 3 year old here that attends my home group with her Mom; she knows all the prayers..and a lot of the readings. My cousins kids throw a hissy fit if they are not allowed to go to NA..they are 7 & 9.
We are not responsible for what others do in meetings, but I will make my feelings known, both to the addicts turning another addict away, and to the addict who was turned away. "The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop using." I would also ask those who were running another addict out of a meeting what they thought the primary purpose of NA was? Addicts come to NA to save their lives; seeking to clean up the wreckage of their past.
I will admit to asking another addict to not return to my homegroup, because thier behavior was grossly inappropriate...and they refused to take responsibility for what they were doing. Might not have been right, but how many addicts will we allow to be run out of the rooms because another addict is there for reasons that have little to do with recovery? Do we sacrifice many in the hopes that the one will get it, or do we ask the one to leave so more may have the chance to find recovery?
As in all of life there are shades of gray, instead of the easy choices of black or white....
Lon
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Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.----Alice Mackenzie Swaim
This summer I was at a camp out in Sudbury where a lot of children attended, this one young girl who's mother had several years clean shared at the camp fire meeting that she had growen up in the room's and felt that NA was her family,that really touched my heart. I think that addiction is a family disease and recovery is a family event. My personal experiance with this situation is amazing. My 16 year old son had been coming to closed meetings with me mainly because he was sick of staying home alone when I would go. Through getting to know the people and the program he was able to ask for help when he had a problem with drugs. Nov. 20th he will be 6 months clean! I strongly encourage parents to involve there kids in there recovery, what we are doing here is healthy behaviour. Most of our kids have seen us act in very unhealthy ways , we need to show them what we are doing right aswell.
were having an issue here of a woman whos recovering few years now,, who chooses to bring her 1 year old girl to meetings.
the first time i encountered that was at my sponsees first anniversary meeting.
Moreover i was chairing that meeting ,,, and 15 minutes into the meeting she walks in with her kid !!!
The kid kid begins to talk loudly as would any kid !!!
there i am in the chair,, in a real crisis !!!
Cant help admiring this NA baby,,, but im also thinking how the mother with those many years on the Program can aloow the little one to talk loud and thereby disturb ongoing sharings !!!
Im thinking what to do,,,, especially seeing a lot of disturbed looks on the faces of many members !!!
Then I have only one option left,,,,so I ask HP waht to do ???
man suddenly,,, she gets up and leaves by herself !!!man thats it !!!
then later i hear shes been doing this at many meetings !!!!
Maybe we need to take a group Concience about what to do !!!
but running a newcomer out of a meeting cause shes got her daughter is a bad scene !!
no one gotta right to do that,,,,, especially people with clean time !!!
we need to stick thru thich and tin with the newcomer for at least the first few days clean !!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
when i was in about a month i went to my home town for a visit. i really needed a meeting this day and heard there were aa meetings every night at this one place so i went , i was late by a few minutes.... i went to the door and looked in, there were about 15 men sitting around the room , i asked if this was an aa meeting the gentleman who was chairing said yes, so i looked around and found a chair on the other side of the room and sat down......everyone was looking at me, then the chair explained that this was a male only meeting...i jumped up embarrassed and said i was from ft st john ( way up north in canada) and that all my meetings looked like this one with a little laugh. they told me to go to the front of the building and talk to someone about finding another meeting...a few minutes later a man can and found me and said they had a meeting on me and since it was late and i was from out of town i could share there meeting...so i went back..and wouldn't you know it , within five minutes of sitting there i heard what i needed to hear to get through the day and put my mind at peace....miracles..
Of course, I have heard of specialist meetings, men only or women only and so on... but any addict can attend them if they so want I guess... That is what my understanding of how these meetings work in NA...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
