"In order to struggle successfully with yourself, you must know your character intimately, and be aware of your faults. To achieve this self=awareness, sit down with a pen and paper - the exercise will be painful - and write down what you feel are your most obvious character flaws and weaknesses:
Am I prone to anger? When I am angry, do I overreact and say or do things that inflict pain on others? Or am I the sort of person who, if asked, will deny that I am angry, yet will treat other people with coldness, disdain, and annoyance?
Do I judge others fairly, or am I harshly critical (both in what I say and what I think)?
Am I stingy with my money or my time? Do I speak curtly, making people feel that I have no time for them? (This is unkind, even if we are busy.)
Do I avoid saying or doing what I believe is right because I fear how others will react or what they will think of me?
Am I moody?
Do I make people around me feel that they are somehow responsible for my moods?
Does my unhappiness affect the atmosphere in my home, transforming, often in a matter of minutes, a general feeling of pleasantness and good will into one of tension and sadness? (Taking away the good mood of those around us and lowering their spirits is a cruel, even if unintentional, act of aggression.)
Do I treat strangers with more consideration Than members of my own family?
Do I take other people's kind behavior for granted, or do I go out of my way to express thanks and help those who have been kind to me?
Do I blame my wrongful actions and mistakes on others, or do I take responsibility for the wrong I do?
Do I jump to conclusions and blame other people before I know all the facts?
Am I able to control my impulses, or do I give in to temptation easily?
Do I bear grudges and remain angry at others for a long time after an argument?
Am I tardy, and thereby waste other people's time by keeping them waiting?
Do I rationalize dishonesty with excuses such as "Business is different?"
When I hear of other people's sufferings or misfortunes, do I find ways to help them, or do I feel sadness in my heart but do nothing?
Am I jealous of the success of others? Do I begrudge others their good fortune?
Once you have drawn up your list, do not become discouraged, even if you find that you have many weaknesses. Drawing up a list like this is the first and most important step in changing your character for the better.
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dalin a unity means oneity...one god, one fellowship,one sponsor,one program...many gifts
I fit in almost every single one of those BUT things are getting better.
Like a tree our growth can be slowwwwwwwww, and we get tested all the time and those are the times we need to see for ourselves and let others see we are changing.
When I lose my temper it's actually a relapse, and a big issue now days. I used to not care actually used anger to fuel more anger into rage, now I stop it as soon as I can if not before it turns into anger and rage.
I'm trying more often to be a better person and a kinder one, less moody even when I feel it I try to put on a smile and not put out onto others my garbage.
adriana wrote: what is the next step? I have too many of those things on the list and I can't seem to change !
Adriana, I was wondering if you still have a Sponsor and if yes, are you working the steps with your sponsor's guidance? That would be the next step and best step ever that an addict can take... then i'm sure your sponsor would guide you one step at a time... the next... work the program and the change would happen... you don't have to change... let the steps change you...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Dalin, thanks for that awesome stuff again... you never run out of great recovery stuff, do you? well, as I'm an addict, all I can ask you now is "gimme more"... LOL...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
well, the guy who was my temporary sponsor got a 2nd job, so his sponsor is going to take me through the steps and then help me find a woman sponsor. We're supposed to get together next week
Great! You have done the next thing that you should do...
Just get together next week and get started...
for me, trying to recover without working the steps is like trying to fly without wings...
wish you all the best and may the journey thru the steps fill your recovery with miracles and joy...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Think whats happening these days and I may do it even unconscously is I seak my higher powers better opinion and action on things. I take a little more times to make a decision about something at least I try to, I think things thru and get a feel for whats right.
Mostly because my instincts got me in trouble or better yet the mishandling of my instincts
Temptation and obsessions are biggys once obsession kicks in I am totally POWERLESS we cannot let that take over our lives any longer.
