i was told I need to start opening my mouth at meetings but it's so uncomfortable to talk in front of everyone, and don't know what to say......how do you get over being nervous and all?
Focus on the topic and relate it to your own experience.
If it's a reading how does that reading coincide with your own addiction?
Lossen up, let your arms hang at your side , rest your shoulders and relax, breathe deep, don't drink coffee if it makes you nervous. Let yourself feel like that is your home and this is where YOU BELONG you will find others just like yourself it's sometimes as if we are all one, and we are we are one in this thing, one addict helping another to help themselves.
I had the same problem when I first came around. I am by nature a very quite and shy person, what I did is what they told me to do. All the healthy behaviours that feel extreamly uncomfortable take practice to get to that natural state or comfortable feeling.So I was told to share something at every meeting, in the begining I often only managed to say ...I'm an addict named Sandra and I am happy to be here.But the more I practiced opening my mouth no matter how little I would say the easer it became.I learned it was better to share right away so I did'nt sit there and think about it the whole time and miss what everyone else shared, while in my head all I could here was ok do it now... come on you can do this and all the other things I would be telling myself to work up the courage to open my mouth. So take that step and be the first to share then you can sit back and listen comfortably to everyone else, and learn something.
I REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST STARED GOING TO MEETINGS I WAS SO NERVOUS I WAS ALWAYS SHY IT GETS BETTER AFTER TIME AND NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY IS IMPORTANT IT WILL KEEP YOU CLEAN
I can relate with that. Even today, sometimes, I am not even able to enter a meeting room full of addicts, my social phobia getting the better of me I guess...
I have found that just being what I am, and saying what I want to helps. Sometimes, I project that I'm talking to my Higher Power, and just pour out all that is inside me... and then, when I observe even oldtimers who are many years clean and familiar with meetings day in and day out, I realized that they all had their own moments of anxiety and shyness sometimes... just like me... and I was no different... and everyone relates to it and accepts me and my anxiety as something normal... that made me feel at ease...
Today, when a newcomer feels embarrassed to share or shares or talks with me just like I did, struggling for the words or ending up saying something silly just like I used to and still do sometimes, I just treat him/her normally and in a reassuring way, encouraging them to share more and thanking them for sharing with me.
Lately, I have also been trying deep breath-in, breath-out exercises as soon as I enter a meeting and sit down, and also not lookin' at anybody while sharing...
The best thing to do however is, to get their early, maybe, 15 minutes before the meeting starts, find a comfortable place, and be a part of the meeting from the start, that way, I have found that I feel high in confidence as the meeting progresses and also at ease and at home... It really works effectively... try it out...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
but it's so uncomfortable to talk in front of everyone, and don't know what to say......how do you get over being nervous and all?
