First you have to remember, dont feel bad. Heroin is bad, not as worse at ciggarettes but its up there. I remember when i was on heroin, i would go as far as to shoot it in the ducts of my eyes so no one would see. So, i know why you shoot it in your testicles. I wouldnt try to have kids if I were you.

My 2 biggest addictions were Heroin and PCP. I would be on heroin sitting there like a 90yr old women about to die, and i would want a ciggarette so one of my good friends handed me a cigg dipped in PCP. I blacked out for 4 days on end. I was told I was doing some stupid things. And my friends even had pictures, this is how they got me to inevitably stop. THey had pictures of me fondling my friends dogs. I puked on my best friends mom and punched in in the face. I even thought i was in the bathroom and pissed on my other friends head that was sleeping on the floor.

But the biggest thing to remember is dont feel bad, its not you when your when on drugs, its someone that wants to make money thats gets you to do it. The one thing, the very one thing that made me turn my life around was when they showed me the video tape of me walking around outside like it was a normal afternoon naked,  and i had crap all over my ass. I thought i had close on and was clean. That was the groin shot to the face. My wife now doesnt know anything about this, but sometimes in my dreams i get flash backs and yell stuff, like little gipper, and steve j smith is the shit, cause those were my dealers. One thing and one thing only dont feel bad.

I was in rehab for 6 weeks, when someone offered me some drugs. I took it cause it was only weed, but i was bugging out, i still think i was wacked from the pcp. Till this day i dont even know how they let me out, i see constant trails, i cant drive but i have my license, and i always have to wear sunglasses. Even in the dark. My wife thinks im some good guy, but only if she knew that when i make love to her, i see her body melt almost and i hallucinate a fish smell. BUt its all good. I just drink beer now. Beer is good, it helps me through the rough times and the sad times. Whenever i feel like doing some more heroin or pcp, i just down and 18 pack and play internet checkers and curse. Well everyone thanx and goodluck to you.

yes i am willing to stop but im scared to tell my docter ive been shooting heroin in my testicles .i really want this all to go away i wished i was never born in this cruel world and the sick things we addict do too make our selves feel good when all we are doing is killing ourselves

 

well we have to feel those crazy dope addict feelings.go down to the girl who used,i think 3 sites back,and click on those sights i posted there.

 this is w we program,and we cant do it alone

 

 

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/drug-addiction/

dalin thank you for the link you and dritz are a good start i need friends since ive lost every friend i ever had by pawning off thier stuff to get drugs

 

Striker start of by doing stuff out of your normal drug addicted way of living. Get a puppy, or find a girlfriend and go on a date. This should be a good start, a nice kick in the fanny. Sometimes you have to make yourself forget to move on. Start off by working out, playing sports or a new hobby. Go skiing, and i dont mean coccaine. Ride a horse, but try to find a significant other to spend your time with.

well i would get a sponser but im just new here and want a friend !! i did get a puppy but it died cause i bought drugs instead of food for me and the dog

dalin why are you so rude ? i need help  and i thought we could all be friends and help each other?

href="http://www.videos.humpingfrog.com/14116/2006/03/hospital-patient-lets-out-a-poo-missle.html">http://www.skiahhelp.com/3003/myphysical


-- Edited by Drizzt at 23:00, 2006-09-18

if you want the na message go to na meetings.

you will here the same

if i had more na members here they would tell you the same.......go read,every sight i posted is na related......i mean this is an na forum,for na members who want to stay clean

Striker, there is nothing to fear or hide from a doctor. Please be free to go to a doctor and open up the problem with him. It might get pretty serious otherwise, as it's a delicate place that you have a problem with. As for as my experience goes, the more I open up honestly about my problems, as you are doing here with us, the more support, care and ways to deal with the problem I get.

I have also done a lot of shenanigans while in a rehab, pickin up all about stuff and tryin to be smarter, except what I landed there for... to find a way to stop using and to try to stay clean...

Striker, you have shown a desire to address your problem which is addiction by reaching out to us, and believe me, as long as you allow yourself to be in this process of reaching out and getting support and directions, you will find ways to deal with your problems... keep the faith, and keep sharing with us...

Where are you from? Are there NA meetings in your town? One more thing I would like to ask you, my friend, if you don't mind ~ Are you asking for help because you want to stop using and find a new way to live OR only hoping for absence of pain (in this case being your testicle problem)?

Only you can decide what you want, Striker... For me, after having tried terminal hip and fatal cool in all ways possible, I realized that I cannot have a life if I continue to use drugs, any drugs, be it marijuana or cocaine or heroine or PCP or beer or pills... If I have to find a way to live, I have to abstain from all drugs... Only then is my recovery  possible... After realizing this, I stopped using and am staying clean Just For Today for over 2 years now with the help of the NA Program and the NA fellowship...

I'm glad that you found us. Welcome home to Miracles In Progress...

And yes, once again, please go to the Doctor and sort out the problem at hand, be open, be yourself, and please try to stop using, take a detox if possible...

I will have you in my prayers tonight,

Hugs, Love, Light ~ Tahir.

no i am glad you came back.

we are trying to help every addict who comes here.

sometimes,guys like the joker,who was playing with you,and insulting the na way of life

keep coming

Stirker is just a sindicated version of a ex-vietnam vet. He was doing heroin
then and he is doing heroin now. He is my buddy and tries to get me to come
here, but i dont know i really cant take this internet thing for
real. Better safe than sorry, i mean the last think i want is to tell
everyone ive been doing heroin and smoking opium since the late 60's and
next thing you know im all over the channel 7 news.

That being said the last thing i need right now is for striker some cross
dressing, tree hugging hippie to come over with his drugs and say hey lets have
a beer. His name is scott, and he is bad, i am also but i havent done drugs
infront of my own children...I atleast make them take a bath when i do. Scott
has potential, girls as well as guys hit on him and to tell you the truth i
think he needs to be in gays anonymous rather than narcotics anonymous. So he
has a little drug problem i mean its not like someone is putting a gun to his
head. He was the one that decided to do it when he wasnt an addict, stop trying
to take my friend away, thats what his brother always says.

Who knows maybe this is a good place for him, but i just dont see how a bunch
hootinannies with their tales between their legs and a bunch of words on the
internet could help someone with a drug dependency. SO he likes to pary and is
only 59, he is still in his prime, let him be.

-- Edited by Drizzt at 10:11, 2006-09-17

AM I AN ADDICT?

Only you can answer this question.

This may not be an easy thing to do. All through our usage, we told ourselves, “I can handle it.” Even if this was true in the beginning, it is not so now. The drugs handled us. We lived to use and used to live. Very simply, an addict is a person whose life is controlled by drugs.

Perhaps you admit you have a problem with drugs, but you don’t consider yourself an addict. All of us have preconceived ideas about what an addict is. There is nothing shameful About being an addict once you begin to take positive action. If you can identify with our problems, you may be able to identify with our solution. The following questions were written by recovering addicts in Narcotics Anonymous. If you have doubts about whether or not you’re an addict, take a few moments to read the questions below and answer them as honestly as you can.

1. Do you ever use alone? Yes �� No ��

2. Have you ever substituted one drug for another, thinking that one particular drug was the problem? Yes �� No ��

3. Have you ever manipulated or lied to a doctor to obtain prescription drugs? Yes �� No ��

4. Have you ever stolen drugs or stolen to obtain drugs? Yes �� No ��

5. Do you regularly use a drug when you wake up or when you go to bed? Yes �� No ��

6. Have you ever taken one drug to overcome the effects of another? Yes �� No ��

7. Do you avoid people or places that do not approve of you using drugs? Yes �� No ��

8. Have you ever used a drug without knowing what it was or what it would do to you? Yes �� No ��

9. Has your job or school performance ever suffered from the effects of your drug use? Yes �� No ��

10. Have you ever been arrested as a result of using drugs? Yes �� No ��

11. Have you ever lied about what or how much you use? Yes �� No ��

12. Do you put the purchase of drugs ahead of your financial responsibilities? Yes �� No ��

13. Have you ever tried to stop or control your using? Yes �� No ��

14. Have you ever been in a jail, hospital, or drug rehabilitation center because of your using? Yes �� No ��

15. Does using interfere with your sleeping or eating? Yes �� No ��

16. Does the thought of running out of drugs terrify you? Yes �� No ��

17. Do you feel it is impossible for you to live without drugs? Yes �� No ��

18. Do you ever question your own sanity? Yes �� No ��

19. Is your drug use making life at home unhappy? Yes �� No ��

20. Have you ever thought you couldn’t fit in or have a good time without drugs? Yes �� No ��

21. Have you ever felt defensive, guilty, or ashamed about your using? Yes �� No ��

22. Do you think a lot about drugs? Yes �� No ��

23. Have you had irrational or indefinable fears? Yes �� No ��

24. Has using affected your sexual relationships? Yes �� No ��

25. Have you ever taken drugs you didn’t prefer? Yes �� No ��

26. Have you ever used drugs because of emotional pain or stress? Yes �� No ��

27. Have you ever overdosed on any drugs? Yes �� No ��

28. Do you continue to use despite negative consequences? Yes �� No ��

29. Do you think you might have a drug problem? Yes �� No ��

“Am I an addict?” This is a question only you can answer. We found that we all answered different numbers of these questions “Yes.” The actual number of “Yes” responses wasn’t as important as how we felt inside and how addiction had affected our lives.

Some of these questions don’t even mention drugs. This is because addiction is an insidious disease that affects all areas of our lives—even those areas which seem at first to have little to do with drugs. The different drugs we used were not as important as why we used them and what they did to us.

When we first read these questions, it was frightening for us to think we might be addicts. Some of us tried to dismiss these thoughts by saying:

“Oh, those questions don’t make sense;”

Or,

“I’m different. I know I take drugs, but I’m not an addict. I have real emotional/family/job problems;”

Or,

“I’m just having a tough time getting it together right now;”

Or,

“I’ll be able to stop when I find the right person/get the right job, etc.”

If you are an addict, you must first admit that you have a problem with drugs before any progress can be made toward recovery. These questions, when honestly approached, may help to show you how using drugs has made your life unmanageable. Addiction is a disease which, without recovery, ends in jails, institutions, and death. Many of us came to Narcotics Anonymous because drugs had stopped doing what we needed them to do. Addiction takes our pride, self-esteem, family, loved ones, and even our desire to live. If you have not reached this point in your addiction, you don’t have to. We have found that our own private hell was within us. If you want help, you can find it in the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous.

“We were searching for an answer when we reached out and found Narcotics Anonymous. We came to our first NA meeting in defeat and didn’t know what to expect. After sitting in a meeting, or several meetings, we began to feel that people cared and were willing to help. Although our minds told us that we would never make it, the people in the fellowship gave us hope by insisting that we could recover. […] Surrounded by fellow addicts, we realized that we were not alone anymore. Recovery is what happens in our meetings. Our lives are at stake. We found that by putting recovery first, the program works. We faced three disturbing realizations:

1. We are powerless over addiction and our lives are unmanageable;

2. Although we are not responsible for our disease, we are responsible for our recovery;

3. We can no longer blame people, places, and things for our addiction. We must face our problems and our feelings.

The ultimate weapon for recovery is the recovering addict.”

-- Edited by Tahir at 11:18, 2006-09-17

FOR THE NEWCOMER

NA is a nonprofit fellowship or society of men and women for whom drugs had become a major problem. We are recovering addicts who meet regularly to help each other to stay clean. There are no dues or fees. The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop using. You don’t have to be clean when you get here, but after your first meeting we suggest that you keep coming back and come clean. You don’t have to wait for an overdose or jail sentence to get help from NA, nor is addiction a hopeless condition from which there is no recovery. It is possible to overcome the desire to use drugs with the help of the Twelve Step program of Narcotics Anonymous and the fellowship of recovering addicts.

Addiction is a disease that can happen to anyone. Some of us used drugs because we enjoyed them, while others used to suppress the feelings we already had. Still others suffered from physical or mental ailments and became addicted to the medication prescribed during our illnesses. Some of us joined the crowd using drugs a few times just to be cool and later found that we could not stop.

Many of us tried to overcome addiction, and sometimes temporary relief was possible, but it was usually followed by an even deeper involvement than before. Whatever the circumstances, it really doesn’t matter. Addiction is a progressive disease such as diabetes. We are allergic to drugs. Our ends are always the same: jails, institutions, or death.

If life has become unmanageable and you want to live without it being necessary to use drugs, we have found a way. Here are the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous that we use on a daily basis to help us overcome our disease.

1. We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Recovery doesn’t stop with just being clean. As we abstain from all drugs (and, yes this means alcohol and marijuana, too) we come face-to-face with feelings that we have never coped with successfully. We even experience feelings we were not capable of having in the past. We must become willing to meet old and new feelings as they come.

We learn to experience feelings and realize they can do us no harm unless we act on them. Rather than acting on them, we call an NA member if we have feelings we cannot handle. By sharing, we learn to work through it. Chances are they’ve had a similar experience and can relate what worked for them. Remember, an addict alone is in bad company.

The Twelve Steps, new friends, and sponsors all help us deal with these feelings. In NA, our joys are multiplied by sharing good days; our sorrows are lessened by sharing the bad. For the first time in our lives, we don’t have to experience anything alone. Now that we have a group, we are able to develop a relationship with a Higher Power that can always be with us.

We suggest that you look for a sponsor as soon as you become acquainted with the members in your area. Being asked to sponsor a new member is a privilege so don’t hesitate to ask someone. Sponsorship is a rewarding experience for both; we are all here to help and be helped.

We who are recovering must share with you what we have learned in order to maintain our growth in the NA program and our ability to function without drugs. This program offers hope. All you have to bring with you is the desire to stop using and the willingness to try this new way of life.

Come to meetings, listen with an open mind, ask questions, get phone numbers and use them. Stay clean just for today. May we also remind you that this is an anonymous program and your anonymity will be held in the strictest of confidence. “We are not interested in what or how much you used or who your connections were, what you have done in the past, how much or how little you have, but only in what you want to do about your problem and how we can help.”

Striker, I hope you will listen to those of us who have found a new way of life in NA.  Many try to find an easier way than going to NA, but we here who have been clean for years can tell you that NA is the easier way.  I've been clean for 5 1/2 years in NA.  I now have a good life, a happy child, we're both healthy and I no longer have to live in the hell of addiction.  I'm sure your friend means well, but his advice is dangerous.  And for goodness sake, please do not get another dog while you're in active addiction. 

REMOVED since I may be wrong but I doubt it.

-- Edited by BigV at 22:25, 2006-09-18

uh excuse me? bigv inot sure i understand fully but if you think this is funny then maybe im in the wrong place.We are here for the same reason you guys are so please stop making accusations and  make this more uncomfortable that it already is.Maybe drittz goes too far  some times but thats just the way he is!!! he just dont want to change and i do so if you dont believe me then i need to leave!!!!! i will be at next meeting if you want to discuss this .0000000000000

KEEP COMING BACK!!!

Hey Striker, did you go to the Doctor yet? Get it done, my friend, so that you can put a stop to this menace in your life... You don't deserve it at all... There is no problem, no hardship, no adversity, that drugs or alcohol cannot make worse... You don't have to use, no matter what...

The message of NA is HOPE, the promise FREEDOM...

THAT NO ADDICT SEEKING RECOVERY NEED EVER DIE... WE DO RECOVER...

Hey Striker, I think you got it wrong about BigV and me and you and addiction itself... We have a disease of addiction that manifests itself physically, mentally and spiritually... thru the 4 specific symptoms of obsession (never ending stream of thoughts centered around drugs or even anything else), compulsion (succumbing to those thoughts and acting out), denial (denying what our addiction is doing to us inspite of the obvious wreckage in and around us due to it) and a spiritual void (trying to fill the emptiness within with drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, food, shopping etc.)

What or how much we use is not our problem, WE ARE THE PROBLEM!!!

It's natural to go thru all that you are going thru in the beginning of our struggle to come to terms with our addiction... Justification, Rationalization, Distrust... these are the only things we ever felt and knew... I also was like you... I could see myself as I was way back some 6 years... I disliked and hated many members when I first tried NA... Later, I realized that they were wonderful, caring members who really really prayed and wished that my suffering ends and I find a new way to live, just like they did...

So Keep Coming Back... It Works... there is no one I have ever met in NA who wants me to go back to using and die... This love, acceptance and compassion is what made my recovery possible...