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Post Info TOPIC: new here
adriana


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hello, I just found this site and thought I'd give it a try. I finally got up the nerve to go to a meeting close to my hometown (found the info. online), but they must no longer hold them there. Nobody (except for 1 other person who had read about it online) showed up. I'm a 34 year old single mom and recently went back to college. I'm taking human services and chemicla dependency classes to become a licensed chemical dependency counselor. I know I can't help anyone else though until I help myself. I've had severe anxiety and occasional depression for as long as I can remember and started self medicating with pain pills about 4 years ago. It's all I think about now-sometimes I can get a script from my doctor-othertimes I get them off the street. I've done things I would never have imagined myself doing, like stealing my mother's percs while she was taking chemo treatments and my dad's,even though he can barely walk without them. The first thing I think of when going into someone's home is finding their meds if they have any. Yesterday I spent my last 50.00 on pills(and I took the last one this morning).This is not who I want to be, not who I want my son's mother to be. I finally told my instructor about all of this a few days ago, and he's really been trying to help me. I can't go on like this, I know that.


 



-- Edited by adriana at 08:59, 2006-09-07

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BigV


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You've done the first step towards recovery Adriana.

You've come asking for help just like the rest of us read as much as you can and find out how to continue on recovering and stop this insidious illness from taking your life away, your hopes dreams and possibly even your child.....or your life.


Seek out more help realife stuff, people that will work with you one on one it's going to be a fight at first but as time goes by it will get easier. Pray ALOT ask God to remove the compulsion to use . Personally I believe it's satan taking our minds and twisting it don't let IT do that use the program and your higher power wage war against this thing and fight like hell otherwise hell may just TAKE your life from you.

Vini



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adriana


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Vini,


thanks for the reply. I don't know why I'm so afraid to stop, or why I'm afraid. It's not like what i'm doing now is working for me, or even making me feel better anymore. I was going to go to a meeting last night, but it's at my church (well, the church I haven't been to in a few yesrs)and I didn't want anyone I know to see me. I wish I would have went now though



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dalin


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its this disease called addiction.it does what it can to kill us.i will post some na sights for you to check out.


im glad you are here.and yes,maybe you can help in this feild if you get a sponsor and work the steps first.



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dalin a unity means oneity...one god, one fellowship,one sponsor,one program...many gifts
adriana


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thank you, I appreciate the help. I felt so relieved after I told my instructor about my addiction, and for the most part I'm still glad I told him, but I also feel sick that I did.Because I know that I can't turn back now. I'm supposed to meet with him again tomorrow so he can refer me to someone to get help. Plus to find another NA meeting in the area. It would be easiest to go to the one in my town, and the next one is on Monday I think.  Even knowing all of this, that I must quit what I've been doing, I still haven't told my regular doctor, in fact I called yesterday and asked her to refill my vicodin script, and she did-I picked it up this morning. Why???I want to go throw them out right now, yet I can't.

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Tahir


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Adriana, welcome to Miracles In Progress. Glad we have you here.


Thank you so much for sharing your pain and troubles with us. Doing so has time and again, set me free, by kickstarting the process of healing... the more I share, the more I heal...


Please feel free to email me if I can be of help to you in any way... at polartorch@yahoo.co.in


We love you and we need you here...


Together We Can!


Remember, it has come to pass, not to stay... It does get better... as long as we are trying, we are not failing...


Prayers and Hugs ~ Tahir.


 



-- Edited by Tahir at 15:03, 2006-09-07

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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting." Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
adriana


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Posts: 133
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just finding this message board has made me feel better, well, not so alone. I've been reading through the messages, reading about other people's experiences, and just to know that others have been through this, that I'm not alone in some of the awful things I've done to get drugs....I'm not even sure how to put into words what i'm feeling right now, I'm just glad to be here

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dalin


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http://www.narecovery.org/NALiteratureLinks.html


try those on for size


 



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dalin a unity means oneity...one god, one fellowship,one sponsor,one program...many gifts
UNoUDo2


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Welcome home Adriana!

We're so glad you're here - please know that you are most certainly not alone and that you never have to use again. You didn't mention where you live, but, if you use this meeting locator - http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/
you'll find all the meetings in your area (and anywhere within 100 miles of you if you'd like).

You're definitely in the right place, and you've taken the hardest step by admitting your addiction, so now just give yourself a break, take a look at the websites and, most importantly: get to a meeting as soon as you can and KEEP COMING BACK!

Namaste,
Deana K



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adriana


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thanks for the link!


I did contact someone about the meeting that nobody showed up to, and he thinks that the person who runs it was having car trouble and it was canceled. He's going to get back to me. It'd be really great if it turns out that the meetings are still going on there, because it's at the college I'm going to-and just far enough away from home. Until then I'll keep reading and posting on here-



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Tahir


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In times where I could not have access to face-to-face meetings due to various reasons, I still made use of online meetings, believe me, making these online meetings has helped me immensely too, through out my journey of recovery...


You can check out the online meetings here at MIP on Wednesdays and Saturdays 9 PM (EST). There is also many online meetings available at another online group, the weblink to which I can forward you... mail me if you want some equally awesome links as this group... for online meetings and support...


As many of us say, "face-to-face or cyberspace, there is God's grace..."



-- Edited by Tahir at 17:23, 2006-09-07

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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting." Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
adriana


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Posts: 133
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Tahir,


thanks-I did email you a little while ago (I think it was you I emailed) I'd like to have the links to other meetings online too



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Tahir


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Got your mail, thanks. Have replied to it too.


Off to bed now... it's 5 AM here in India, and am yet to sleep... I'm such a night creature, you know... lol...



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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting." Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
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